Finally a new post.

I have started to write a new blog about 20 times so far since my last post and for some reason or another I have yet to finish them. I think that I am just going to toss them especially since most of them are just complaints, and while they may at times feel good to type, they probably wouldn't feel good to read.

Now that being said life has been interesting. God has as of late been showing me that I need to just man up and step out. I have come to realize that I am a cautious person, I used to think that I wasn't, but I am. However, as of late God has been desiring that I step out, to leave from this comfortable place and step out to a place where I feel uncomfortable, where I feel incapable.

First off, next fall I have been asked to teach at the School of Ministry at my church, not the one I am going to, another one. Now I have come to realize that I love teaching. My heart is all for it, but at the same time, I look at the others who are going to be teaching there, my pastor who has been doing ministry for over 30 years, a professor from BIOLA, and my college Pastor, and then I look at myself. I have no experience in this other than taking the classes, and studying the bible myself. In my heart I love the idea, because sharing with people how to study His word is awesome. But as for the rest of me, I have this desire to run, to decline, because who I am to be able to do something like this?

Next, there is the couples study that Donna and I are praying about doing this summer. The more I see the church, the more I am realizing the need for there to be an opportunity for young people who are now married to spend time in the word, in fellowship and in prayer with other young couples. But yet again, the fear arises, there is a need, but who am I to fill it?

Really when it comes down to it, the issue I have comes down to a fear of failure. What if I step out, try these things and I find that I am incapable of doing them?

I see myself wanting to play it safe, to just sit in the kiddie pool. Yet, I can feel God telling me to step out, to get out of the comfortableness of the kiddie pool (which is probably filled with urine from all the other kids playing in it. Not really part of the analogy, but still a disgustingly good point, don't let your kids drink that water, urine and chlorine are not good for them) and to dive head first into the deep end.

I shout "I'm too weak" and He replies "My strength is made perfect in your weakness."

I say, "I don't talk good" (intentionally using improper English) yet He says "Who has made man's mouth... Is it not I the LORD? Now therefore go and I will be with your mouth, and teach you what to say."

I whisper, "but I'm a sinner," and with lovingly compassionate voice He whispers back "I was wounded for your transgressions, I was bruised for your iniquities, the chastisement for your peace was upon me, and by My stripes you were healed. Though you like sheep have gone astray, gone your own way, I have had all your iniquity laid on me. So if you confess your sins, I who am both faithful and just will forgive you of your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness."

So I now stand as I stand looking at the kiddie pool and the deep end I have a choice, do I stay comfortable? do I refuse to step out and this live a life of mediocrity? Or do I step out, leave the comfortable in pursuit of that which the Lord would have for me?

The same can be asked of you,

I for one choose the latter.