Duncan

We found our cat again today. She had escaped from the apartment by climbing up our rocking chair and putting a hole through the screen on our window. She was gone since Saturday, and honestly we thought she was gone for good. But then we found her, hiding under a car, terrified, hungry and filthy.

The sight of her brought back the memories of when we first found her because she was in the exact same state, terrified, hungry, filthy, and hiding under a car. She had returned to the place where we had found her.

Yet both times, we found her, we lovingly coaxed her to us with tuna, washed her, fed her, gave her toys, and loved her. She is our cat.

All this caused me to think about how we as Christians are often like this. There was a time, when we were marred by sin, starving for truth, and were trapped in a state of hopelessness.

But then Jesus came along. He saw us pursued us, and through love and kindness, He brought us to Himself. He then washed us from our sin, gave us a heavenly home, removed our fear, and fed us with the bread of life.

Yet like Duncan, after a while, there comes a point where we become discontent, this especially happen when we get saved at a young age (Just like Duncan first got brought in as a kitten) we know of His goodness, His love, His continual provision, yet we want more. We eventually envision His palace as if it were a prison, keeping us from doing all those things that are outside of His will that we think will bring joy.

So, when the moment arises, we run. We pursue the things that we thought would bring us joy, and freedom only to find that these things wind up leading us right back to where we first started. Only there is a difference now. While before when we lived in sin, and hopelessness we believed that this was all that there is. But now, we've had the tuna, we have experienced the richness of His grace and love, and so when we have gone back to eating garbage, when we are back in our sin, we find ourselves worse off.

But just like Donna and I pursued Duncan, even when she has fled, and has become dirty, and hungry again because she is our Cat. So Christ seeks us out, even when we run, because we are His.

Finally a new post.

I have started to write a new blog about 20 times so far since my last post and for some reason or another I have yet to finish them. I think that I am just going to toss them especially since most of them are just complaints, and while they may at times feel good to type, they probably wouldn't feel good to read.

Now that being said life has been interesting. God has as of late been showing me that I need to just man up and step out. I have come to realize that I am a cautious person, I used to think that I wasn't, but I am. However, as of late God has been desiring that I step out, to leave from this comfortable place and step out to a place where I feel uncomfortable, where I feel incapable.

First off, next fall I have been asked to teach at the School of Ministry at my church, not the one I am going to, another one. Now I have come to realize that I love teaching. My heart is all for it, but at the same time, I look at the others who are going to be teaching there, my pastor who has been doing ministry for over 30 years, a professor from BIOLA, and my college Pastor, and then I look at myself. I have no experience in this other than taking the classes, and studying the bible myself. In my heart I love the idea, because sharing with people how to study His word is awesome. But as for the rest of me, I have this desire to run, to decline, because who I am to be able to do something like this?

Next, there is the couples study that Donna and I are praying about doing this summer. The more I see the church, the more I am realizing the need for there to be an opportunity for young people who are now married to spend time in the word, in fellowship and in prayer with other young couples. But yet again, the fear arises, there is a need, but who am I to fill it?

Really when it comes down to it, the issue I have comes down to a fear of failure. What if I step out, try these things and I find that I am incapable of doing them?

I see myself wanting to play it safe, to just sit in the kiddie pool. Yet, I can feel God telling me to step out, to get out of the comfortableness of the kiddie pool (which is probably filled with urine from all the other kids playing in it. Not really part of the analogy, but still a disgustingly good point, don't let your kids drink that water, urine and chlorine are not good for them) and to dive head first into the deep end.

I shout "I'm too weak" and He replies "My strength is made perfect in your weakness."

I say, "I don't talk good" (intentionally using improper English) yet He says "Who has made man's mouth... Is it not I the LORD? Now therefore go and I will be with your mouth, and teach you what to say."

I whisper, "but I'm a sinner," and with lovingly compassionate voice He whispers back "I was wounded for your transgressions, I was bruised for your iniquities, the chastisement for your peace was upon me, and by My stripes you were healed. Though you like sheep have gone astray, gone your own way, I have had all your iniquity laid on me. So if you confess your sins, I who am both faithful and just will forgive you of your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness."

So I now stand as I stand looking at the kiddie pool and the deep end I have a choice, do I stay comfortable? do I refuse to step out and this live a life of mediocrity? Or do I step out, leave the comfortable in pursuit of that which the Lord would have for me?

The same can be asked of you,

I for one choose the latter.

A Quote

I know it has been a long time since I have blogged about anything. And a good personal biographical one is coming up, however, I wanted to share this quote by Hudson Taylor with you, it has been something that I have been meditating on a lot lately.


"If God has called you to be really like Jesus in your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put on you such demands of obedience that He will not allow you to follow other Christians; and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things that He will not let you do. Other Christians and ministers who seem very religious and useful may push themselves, pull wires and work schemes to carry out their schemes, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent. Other may brag on themselves, on their work, on their success on their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing. ; and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

"Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, but it is likely that God will keep you poor, because He wants you to have something far better than gold, and that is a helpless dependence upon Him, that He may have the privilege (the right) of supplying your needs day by day out of an unseen treasury. The Lord will let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hidden away in obscurity, because He wants some choice fragrant fruit for His coming glory which can only be produced in the shade. He will let others do a work for Him and get the credit for it, but He will let you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.

"The Holy Spirit will put a watch over you, with a jealous love and will rebuke you for a little words or feelings or for wasting your time, over which other Christians never seem distressed. So make up your minds that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has the right to do as He pleases with His own, and He may not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason in his dealings with you. He will take you at your word and if you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love and let other people say and do many things which He will not let you say or do.

Settle it forever that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that He does not deal with others. Now when you are so possessed witht he Living God, that you are in your secret heart pleased and delighted over the peculiar, personal, private, jealous, guardianship of the Holy Spirit, over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven.

Hot dogs

So for whatever reason we really sold a lot of hot dogs today. And something that I realized is that when I go to grab the hot dogs for them I say "let me grab your hot dog" or even worse "let me grab your sausage." I have yet to hear a complaint, but just to make things less suggestive, I've been trying to say "let me get THE hot dog." I think it sounds better that way.

The Old Man, and the JW

So this was strange, so strange in fact that I thought that I should write a post about it.

Donna and I went to Starbucks yesterday, it's something we do usually about twice a month to just hang out, talk about what the Lord has been showing us, and even at times go over a Bible passage together.

Anyway at one point in our time together, we started talking about a certain passage in Romans 3, and all of the sudden a man just randomly yells "shalom" at us. He was an old man, probably in his 70s, with one of those Amish beards that was all white. I looked at him, and say "shalom" back and then got back to my discussion with Donna. The man then proceeded to walk up to us and proudly show Donna and I his badge that read "Support for Israel, Sarah Palin."
"OK" I said politely, not entirely sure whether he was Jewish, or what I should say. Before I could say anything, the Old man asked me what version of the bible I was reading, and I said the NKJV. "Oh I don't believe any of that, I only use the King James."
"Oh" I said, "Well the New King James is pretty similar." And it was at that point it began, while I tried to keep things as civil as possible, I was unaware that I was at that point entering into a debate about whether or not the King James was the way to go.
Now to spare you that debate, let's just say things were going alright, I thought, until he said "Well, I don't believe that Jesus was God, or in the Trinity." I at that point realized that that man had bigger problems, so I just tried to drop it.
He then began to accuse Donna and I as "Trinitarians," of being what is wrong with this country. He said that people like us who hold to these narrow views such as the validity of scripture and Jesus being the only way, are keeping this country from uniting, and it is not until people like us cease to exist that we will ever be able to find peace.
He then asked if we had kids, we said no, and he then said "Don't, if you do they will already be doomed." After mumbling to Donna something about staying in her cubby, he and his wife left.

Right as he left, a young man who was "Jehovah's Witness" hearing us say that Jesus was God, came up to us, and then tried to debate or convert us or something, and also another man randomly came up and threw his two cents in, until he realized that he really didn't know what he was talking about, and then soon left. I was able to give out verses, that I hope made sense, but he just ignored my points.

Now I tried not to be argumentative, and I was hoping to at least get the people to think. But I really don't know if any of this did any good. So I will pray for these people.

Anyway, there are two morals to this story, first off, don't make it a point to debate people like that, we can't convince them to come to Christ, all we can do is hopefully make them think. The Holy Spirit will have to do the rest. Debating only leads to arguments, and argument rarely lead to people coming to a knowledge of the truth.
The second point is this though, often Christians are ignorant. They don't know the Bible, and they don't know why they believe what they believe. How then can you come up with things to make them think if you don't even know what you think yourselves.

Missing school already.

I have realized something about myself lately. When I am not doing something that really challenges me, or makes me step out, I find that I fall into what I like to call "the funk." It's a time in which I mentally kind of just shut off, and go for a while just existing. I find that this has really happened to me pretty much every summer of my life as far back as I can remember, with the exception of the last couple of years.
With school being over and work being just a pay check, I can feel this mindset creeping up on me. In the past I didn't really mind this time. But now even thinking about it makes me feel discontent. Honestly I wish that God has just given Donna and I that internship so that I could be doing something. But I know that this is God's doing keeping us here. I know that He is showing me patterns in my life that are really quite selfish, or just plain sinful.
I can see Him allowing me to do things that were great in the past (such as playing video games for an entire afternoon) that I now find empty. He's shaking up my status quo, but in a way in which nothing around me seems to be changing and in many ways I am dreading every minute of it. I can feel that this is either going to be a time of great growth in the Lord, or a time of great Spiritual emptiness, and that it is all going to depend on how I am going to respond. I earnestly pray that I don't go the path of least resistance, and find myself like I have many summers before just existing.

"Jesus Shirt"

So at work I am allowed to wear whatever shirt I want as long as it is red, so the other day I decided to wear my red "Jesus saves" shirt. Anyway that day at work I rang this one dude up that works at target with me, and I apparently gave him 5 dollars extra change. Which he later returned.
Yesterday he came up to me and told me that he originally wasn't going to return the money, but because he saw my "Jesus shirt" he said he felt guilty about it and gave the money back. But then said I owed him 5 bucks.
I just smiled and he walked away. (Donna told me I should have told him to take it up with Jesus that would have been funny).

It's interesting how that worked.

I got an A on my Greek Mid-term btw.

It's about time.

So today was a long day at work. Working behind the food counter at Target can be quite stressful. It's funny how rude people can get when it comes to food. They can wait 20 minutes in line to purchase a plunger. But if they have to wait more than 5 minutes for a pizza they freak out... But anyway I digress, I am blessed to be working right now and I am glad that I am.

Funny story, I was sitting on the couch, and I realized that I had not got the mail yet. So, I stood up and opened the door. As the cool breeze passed around my body I realized that I was standing there in my underwear... No one saw as far as I know, but that could have got awkward fast. There wasn't even any mail.

Anyway, I have never considered myself to be an early bird. My idea of getting up early is waking up at 9. I am also not very disciplined. As I look back, there are plenty of things that I began, but of all of those things I'd say I've finished maybe 20 percent of them. I look at my book shelf which is full of books that are half read.
For the school of ministry I have to wake up at 6 on Mon-Fri, so that I can be sure to get to school by 7. Up until now I have made it a point to get up as late as possible and wait to do my devotions until later. Or at least that is what I've told myself. Later, with the busy-ness of the day soon becomes never.
So, in order to discipline myself, as well as spend time with my loving Father who is SOO good to me, I've decided to get up at 5 every morning and do my devos then. It has been really good so far, and I am going to have to discipline myself in order to keep doing it. Because I don't want to listen to "sleep Aaron" who in my groggy state is probably one of the best debaters I have ever heard, and I know that he will use what I like to call "early morning logic" to get me to just sleep.

I don't blog much, I think part of the reason is that most of the blogs that I feel like typing are indictments against things going on in the church, or complaints about various other things, and really I doubt you want to read that, though you did read my complaint about work, but that's beside the point. Donna gets enough of it here at home, she doesn't need to read about it :)

Anyway, I am procrastinating. I have a Greek midterm this Monday, and I am really tired of studying for it. But I probably should. You all have a blessed day. I have more I wanted to say but for now this'll have to do for now.

It's funny

Donna always complains that all my blogs seem to be sad. For being quite the happy guy it sure seems like while I live in a comedy that I post as if I am in a drama. Personally, I am not generally a big fan of that genre because while some of them are really good, they are for the most part just depressing and who wants to be depressed right? But the reality is life is not all flowers and unicorns, which I am glad about because those things are lame.
That brings me really to what I wanted to talk about, not how lame unicorns are, (one horn? Pathetic.) but about life. Specifically mine, since I have a captive audience, or at least one who will read this until they get bored.

It's been almost six months since I moved here to Buena Park, and things have been crazy.

I've gone to an amazing school that has challenged me in the word in ways that I at times don't want to be challenged. I've got a hired and fired from a comic book store. I've been able to be married to an amazing woman who to be quite honest is probably too good for me (luckily she just doesn't know it). I've known what it feels like to stress about how I am going to afford to survive. I've even at one point had an allergic reaction to what Donna and I think was IB profin, which then caused me to break out into hives all over my body the same week as finals. I've known what it's like to be in ministry feeling completely incapable.

Yet, through all of this I've learned one simple truth. God is faithful. He has been so good to Donna and I, and as we've trusted Him, we've seen Him come through.

Some may be worried, some may freak out about the situations that inevitably occur, I know that I have had my moments, of depression, like you get when you watch a drama (wow I connected it to the beginning topic go me!). But all I know is that I feel closer to God than I've ever been, and He continues to show Himself faithful in my life.

Lost Dads

Hey all,
With Lost back this season, I thought it would be a good time to look at this article from pluggedinonline.com. I liked it and it gave something to think about so if you watch Lost, you'll think it's probably pretty cool, if not well you'll like it anyway.


Lost Dads

Your plane crashes on an island. You're chased by a polar bear, haunted by a smoke monster and at war with an indigenous population. You're hurt. Scared. Lost.

Times like these might make many of us wish to be children again and long for our fathers—for someone to teach us how to survive, to frighten away all the bogeymen, to tell us why we must push the button every 108 minutes. To assure us everything's going to be OK.

Unless, of course, your father beat you. Or betrayed you. Or ran a crime syndicate. Or stole one of your kidneys.

Suddenly, those polar bears don't look so bad.

Who's Your Daddy?
Feb. 2 marks the beginning of the sixth and final season for ABC's landmark sci-fi drama Lost—much to the delight ("It's here!") and chagrin ("It's almost over!") of TV geeks everywhere. The labyrinthine program has become a byword for obsessive television viewing. Its creators have manufactured a bewildering mythology—so bewildering that after five seasons viewers aren't completely sure what the island even is. (Theories range from Eden to Limbo to a rejiggered Island of Misfit Toys.) Lost is a potpourri of engrossing characters, literary references, time-travel tropes and thought-provoking musings about the interplay of religion and science, of fate and free will, of good and evil and the gray in between.

But at its core, Lost is really about a subject near and dear to Plugged In's core: family. Strip away all the white rabbits and mysterious hatches, and you're left with an island full of sons and daughters, lost and hurting because their relationships with their parents—particularly their fathers—aren't all they should be.

"I think father issues are very much a part of the show," Lost producer Carlton Cuse said at Comic-Con 2006, according to Lostpedia. "Dramatically, that is something that we deal with extensively. And if you look at the characters on the show, a lot of the characters have 'daddy issues.'"

Where's Your Daddy?
Take Jack, the island's mostly heroic doctor. He spent much of his life trying to please his demanding surgeon dad, but he only succeeded in making Pops proud when Jack got him fired for being drunk on the job. Jack's father was so proud, in fact, that he flew to Australia, went on a massive bender and died—and now haunts both Jack and the island with frightening regularity.

Then there's Kate, Lost's pretty escaped felon. What did she do, you ask? Well, she killed her abusive, alcoholic father shortly after he made sexual advances on her.

Sawyer, the island's long-haired, nickname-spewing con man, watched his father kill himself after shooting Sawyer's mom. The trauma was so great that, instead of emulating his father, he followed the footsteps of the confidence man who slept with his mom, stole the family money and instigated his father's suicide.

But John Locke, perhaps, takes the cake in terms of father issues. Though he now strides around the island like a long-prophesied savior, Locke grew up never knowing his father. When Locke reached middle age, a man claiming to be his father steps into his life and tells him he's dying—unless he gets a kidney from someone. When Locke volunteers to donate his, "Pops" takes the kidney and runs, so to speak. Locke is abandoned yet again.

"You needed a father figure and I needed a kidney, and that's what happened," the man tells Locke. "Get over it. And John, don't come back. You're not wanted."

Locke comes back anyway—and for his trouble gets pushed out a seventh story window.

The list goes on, too. Ben and his abusive father. Sun and her domineering father. Claire doesn't even know her father (but we do). It's enough to make you wonder … are Lost's creators in need of some serious counseling?

Does Your Daddy Matter?
"Ironically, I had a fairly awesome (if not slightly complicated) relationship with my father," writer and producer Damon Lindelof tells Entertainment Weekly. "I suppose the fact that he died shortly before we began writing Lost had a great impact on where my head was at the time, but he was an amazing guy who is pretty much responsible for my love of all things storytelling-related. He never even tried to steal my kidney.

"That being said," Lindelof goes on, "I think, mythically speaking, all great heroes have massive daddy issues. Hercules. Oedipus, Luke Skywalker. Indiana Jones. Spider-Man. It all comes with the territory. We dig flawed characters on Lost, and a large part of being flawed is the emotional damage inflicted on you by your folks."

He's right, you know. Biblical characters have had some rocky times with their dads, too. Isaac was nearly sacrificed by his. Jacob and Esau had a pretty complex relation with theirs. Joseph's pop doted—perhaps too much—creating its own set of problems. And that's just Genesis.

Its flawed characters make Lost quite uncomfortable to watch at times. In addition to the typical problematic content we'd point out reviewing Lost—the violence, the swearing, the sexuality—viewers are confronted by lots of murky morality and very, very bad role models. Everyone on the island does things they regret (or should).

But the script, more often than not, suggests that their strengths and weaknesses are the product of how they were raised. And, so, all that negativity evokes a very positive—biblical—theme: That what you do as a parent matters. In a time when more and more children are raised in single-parent households, and in an environment where the role of a father in his children's lives is often minimized, Lost tells us something very true and very important: If fathers aren't around, or they're not paying attention, their children pay the price.

That echoes Scripture. Regarding idols, God told the Israelites in Exodus 20:5, "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me." The fathers of Jack, John, Sawyer and Kate didn't bow down to graven images, as the Bible puts it, but they sure erected their own personal idols to worship. And we sure see how their sin is passed down. It's a vicious cycle—one that God understands and takes care to warn us about.

Why? Because fathers are central to His plans. The most critical moment in Christianity, after all, involves the Father, the Son and the most revolutionary sacrifice ever. And fractious fatherly relationships can pull lots of threads out of the spiritual tapestry we're all part of.

"In my opinion there are only two important themes [in Lost]," writes Entertainment Weekly blogger Jeff Jensen: "1. Science vs. Religion (or Reason vs. Faith); and 2. The Failure of the Father Figure." Jensen argues that many characters—Jack, Locke and others—are themselves surrogate father figures for the island's frequently disoriented inhabitants, and I buy it. Jack and Locke, in the midst of their own quests for purpose and redemption, must also help lead and guide the islanders who follow them. (It's no accident, I think, that Jack's last name is "Shephard.") And there's a sense that, if they somehow succeed—if they do what they're "meant" to do—the sins and scars their fathers etched on their souls, along with those of their own making, will be somehow wiped clean.

These sins are not necessarily forgiven, mind you, in the Christian sense. Rather, the show simply acknowledges that families—as messy as they can be—are critical components of who and what we are. And it also suggests that, even if our childhoods weren't perfect, we have it within our power to do better, to be better.

"Lost … isn't about burying the past," writes Jensen, "but finding the grace to live with it."

Looking Back

Things in life are crazy right now, and I know that I need to give an update.

This here is a flashback, to the summer before I met Donna. I had a write a testimony for my Spiritual Formation class, so here is the rough draft. I so much enjoyed writing it that I decided before I went back and focused so much on the grammar, which would get annoying, to just post this right now. Let it encourage you, like recounting it encouraged me.

An Example Of God’s Provision

It was In England that I met my wife and God really began to give me direction to where He wanted me to go with my life. However, I almost wasn’t able to go there, and had it not been for the grace of God I would not have been able to meet my wonderful wife Donna.
See, I was living in Germany at the time, with my family near a military base, it was the summer before my last semester of bible college, and I was really counting down the days until I could go back to England to graduate. That summer was hard on me, being in a military community, all my Christian friends that I had the summer before had moved away, and the church that my family was going to lacked any kind of depth in it’s sermon content. So needless to say, I was very excited to back to good old York England for my last semester.
About a month before I was to head over there, I received an e-mail that essentially said that due to various new visa restrictions, I had to go to an English Embassy and get a student visa, or I would not be able to go to the school that semester. So with my plane ticket already paid for, and my heart longing to be back in the UK, my Dad and I started the process of making an appointment to going to the nearest English Embassy, which was about 200 miles away from where I was living.
Now the appointments booked fast, but I was blessed enough to find one that was a week and a half before I had to leave, so we got all my information together, and we headed to Muchengladbach, to get a visa stamped into my passport. After driving about 3.5 hours we finally arrived at the embassy, so my Dad and I got in line and waited. Right before it was my turn I was told to get my passport ready, so I look in the folder, and to my horror, it wasn’t in there. I quickly ran back to the van, and it was not to be found. Without my passport, there was nothing that I could do so I sadly, and fearfully, (knowing that my Mom was going to have a cow) went back to the house, and found the passport on the ground there, it had apparently fallen out of the folder when we were walking to the van.
At this point, I was crushed, I could have sworn that the Lord wanted me in England, I felt the call, and I knew. Yet at this point, I had no idea how I was going to get in. My Mom came up with a bunch of plans, saying how I could go to the Bible college in Germany for the last semester and things like that, but my heart longed for England.
So at this point my Mom said, “Aaron look at it this way, you already bought your plane ticket, just get on the plane and if God wants you to go to York, you’ll get in no problem, and if He does not want you in York, well you shouldn’t be there anyway.”
She had a good point, I mean what could I lose, except possibly an opportunity to see God completely circumvent a legal system in order to get His will done in my life. So, that week my parents drove me to the airport, and after praying for the Lord’s will to be done, I departed from them and got on the plane.
On the way there I was nervous, what if I had to get sent back, would I have to pay for that myself? Would they interrogate me? Strip search me? The possibilities were endless, and so was my imagination. But about half way there, I started to feel peace with my decision. Somehow I knew that I was doing what He wanted of me, and so that caused me to relax, because I knew that if I was in His will, He was the one who would take care of it.
So I sat back, and talked to the man next to me, who was apparently a language expert, and after telling him I was going to the Bible College in York, he started grilling me on my knowledge of the beauty of the Hebrew language, (a topic I still honestly know little or nothing about sadly) but needless to say, that conversation was probably a bit one-sided.
Now upon arriving in England my heart started beating fast, my brow became sweaty, this was the moment of truth. A part of my half expected a security team to meet me at the door of the plane, and by force lead me away. But there was no security, only a surprisingly genuinely nice flight attendant who had displayed much patience during the flight.
After getting off the plane, I went to customs, and upon looking at my passport, the man asked me with furrowed eyebrows “Why are you here in England?” I briefly explained to him how I was going to be going to the Bible College in York, and with that he stamped my passport and let me through. At that point overwhelming joy overtook my heart, while I was not technically allowed to set foot in the UK, God had somehow allowed me in.
I was light as a feather, as I sang praises to God all the way to baggage claim! It is that semester that the Lord taught me much about leadership, and also allowed me to meet the woman that I had been waiting for all my life. But it all came back to God through His divine power, providing for me a way to get into England.

My Christmas

This past Friday Donna and I celebrated our first Christmas as a married couple, and we did so at her parents house. We got there on Wednesday night, and met our friends at Bret and Heather's place, and we had a good time just catching up with our friends. We got back to Donna's folks house quite late and pretty much just immediately went to sleep.

The next day was Christmas Eve, and we spent most of that day playing on her parents Wii, and then went to church that night. While we loved seeing all the people we knew there, and were happy to be back at good old Pathways, a part of me couldn't help but miss going to the church that we are going to currently here in Buena Park. I just feel a connection there, and I'm pretty sure that Donna feels the same way.

Anyway, after church we came home, and just sat on the couches and hung out until about 10, and as the tradition went there in the Blaisdell House we watched a Muppet Christmas Carol, though some of us watched more than others (a.k.a. Donna fell asleep within the first 20 minutes.

Now as an outsider being brought in, Christmas is definately a different thing there. With my family we sleep in, and then open a few gifts in the morning. And then open more gifts in the afternoon and then some in the evening. We spread things out. This is completely different from Donna's tradition. There, everyone gets awakened at an early hour (7am) by Donna, and then once everyone comes in the living room they all open up all their presents at once.

Now there is something to be said for both traditions (except maybe the getting up at 7 part) it is on one hand nice to spread the gifts out throughout the entire day, but on the other hand it is also nice to just get it all out in the open so that you can have the whole day to use what you got, so neither is better... but I lean towards wanting to do it the way that I have always done it (doing it that way for 24 previous Christmas's made me biased)

As for the gift getting department, I really made out like a bandit, everyone did so well this year. I got pretty much everything that I wanted, and more (J and Les got us a Wii! Yipee)

That afternoon, I got to have a nice chat with my family over skype (that is an amazing program) and then Donna, Jo, Chris, and I beat the Raving Rabbid's game on their parents Wii.

Later that afternoon we had a huge ham dinner which I think my waist might be feeling now. It was delicious. I pretty much immediately after dinner fell into a Christmas dinner coma, and slept for about an hour while most of the others watched a movie.

That night, Donna and I went over to Brock's and then carpooled over to the movie theater to see Sherlock Holmes. Let me tell you that movie was fantastic. I loved pretty much everything about it and I honestly would recommend it to pretty much anyone.

We came home the next morning, and had to get back to the daily grind of work. It's nice though having the break from class. While I enjoy it a lot, it is nice not having to go to school every single morning.

Yesterday, the 27th of December, Donna and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary. We did so by going to work, and then when I got home cleaning our apartment, and then cooking Donna dinner, quickly followed by both of us going to bed at around 9:30 and sleeping till almost 10 the next morning... Exciting stuff I'm sure.

Anyway, with the New Year coming up this Friday, I guess I should start reflecting on my year, a year in review, if you will. With everything that has gone on for me, and for Donna, it would be good to look back.

Anyway I hope everyone's Christmas was amazing! and that as we continue to ponder God's remedy for our failings, that we would truly continue, not in the "Spirit of Christmas" whatever that is, but instead we would continue in God's Spirit, allowing Him to lead our lives so that we too can express the love and generosity that God first expressed to us first in a manger and ultimately though Calvary.

Money

Money is probably the number 1 thing that I worry about. I know that I am to be anxious for nothing, but I find that there are definitely times when I cant help but begin to worry about our financial situation. Last night I was laying in bed a bit worried about our finances, and when I fell asleep I had a dream. I was at my house in Ga, and I only had a roll of penny's to my name. I complained how I didn't have enough money for anything, and out of frustration, I grabbed one of the penny's, and threw it at the wall, and when it bounced back it was a nickel. I threw it again and it came back as a dime, and then a quarter, a 50 cent piece, and then finally one of those gold dollars. And it was then that I realized that God was providing for me, there were scoffers saying that somehow the money was already up there and I was just knocking it loose, and that it wasn't a miracle, but I knew that it was, that He was changing my meager circumstances and transform it into something great. It was later this morning that I was reminded of the story in Matthew 17 in which Jesus told Peter to go fish, and when he caught the fish it was the exact amount that he and Jesus needed to pay their taxes, and it caused me to both realize that our God is very good to us, and that if God Is more than able to provide. If He can cause a fish to swallow enough for the taxes for the both of them, the He is more than able to provide for our meager existence. Our God is good!

And then it gets rough.

Anyway, so I have a new layout, I got tired of my old one, and I figured it was time for a change... I hope you like it, I know I do.

So this week has been hard. On Saturday night I got sick, and I got worse. On Monday I went to class, and I was so sick that I went home after my first class and slept, but because it was my second day, I still went to work. And then on Wednesday Donna caught my illness. My mom thinks it was the swine flu, but because I didn't grow a curly tail, and have an intense desire to roll in the mud (at least any more than usual) I think it might have just been the regular flu. I'm finally feeling not dead, and I think Donna is feeling much better as well.

Yesterday, when driving to class, my car started to sputter, and eventually died. Praise the Lord that it died right by a mechanic, which was also in walking distance from where I live, so I was able to drop it off there and walk home. Long story short, it cost 425 to repair and it still needs more maintenance done to it, but it at least drives...

So, all that to say that this week was rough. But God was good, and kept us alive and going, even when in my tiredness and frustration, I began to doubt Him. Thank you Lord for providing for us, and keeping us safe. Please continue to do so.

Anyway, something else I noticed is that I lack discipline. Especially when it comes to the areas of daily devotion and prayer . Now I know that this is something a lot of people struggle with, but I'm seeing all the more now how much I NEED it. While this is of course obvious to any believer, it has really been hitting me hard lately.

It all started the other day when Donna was at Starbucks, and, long story short a man walked by her and and said "I just wanted to say, that I felt lead to tell you that God cherishes His time with you." When she told me that story, I could just hear God say to me, "I cherish my time with you too." And I realized that I do not spend enough time with Him.

Now you'd think that that would have changed my heart and I am now spending hours upon hours with Him. But the truth is, while for that day, things may have been better, I got preoccupied with other things, and next thing you know I realize that I have not spent time with God in over a week. Sure I go to class and learn about the Word, sure I may go to church and worship and hear a good sermon, but how much time have I spent before the Throne of Grace myself? Little.

And when I do come to Him it's usually because I have a problem, or because I feel guilted into it. And I hate that.
Yet this has been a consistent pattern in my life...

Now, I'm not entirely sure how, but this has got to change. Because God is way too important not to be the number 1 priority in my life.

My life, or something like it.

Well, I know it has been a while since I last updated this thing, and that's just because life has become really busy as of late, which kind of stinks, because it causes me to realize just undisciplined I am. It also makes me feel frazzled.

To start off the apartment is cool, and it is really finally starting to feel like home. We have pretty much got everything put away, which is nice. We just need to figure out what to put on the walls and we'll be completely here. I gave my Dad the virtual tour via skype, it's nice here.

School is alright, the classes are alright, but I've found this past week at least, that I really had the wrong motivation when it came to homework, I've been doing it just to get it done, but not with the type of introspective thought that should be going into it. Plus, I've found that I'm trying to just show everyone how smart I am. Which sadly is working, people have been complimenting me on it, but that's just a pride issue. I should be there to learn not to show off. On the bright side since I recognized these things I can change.
I will say though that it has been good. The teachers really love Jesus, and I can tell that through talking to them, and seeing them, and I know that there is a lot that I can learn from them.
The latest news, I got a job at a comic book store! It was cool, I had been looking around for a job, and I asked the guy if they were hiring and he said that he was quitting within the next week, and told me to turn in an application, so I went and applied on Wednesday and the owner told me that while that store wasn't hiring, the other one he owed down the road was. So after a 30 minute interview about which comics I read, and how reliable I am, I got the job provided I could find the other store.
So I did and I the people there were really awesome. I've only been there for a little while, but I think I'll be liking it.

So, anyway, if you are reading this, I probably miss you. I hope that things are going well.

2 weeks till my birthday!

-Aaron

Quick update

Hey all,
I was reading my past blog, and I realized that that was probably a bad one to have as the last blog up at the time. While it was an honest representation of what I was feeling at that time... I'm doing better.
Anyway, I will hopefully have a new post up soon, I've been super busy with school, being married, and life. But expect a new post soon.
Aaron

Much prayer wanted

Well school started last thursday, and I am now about halfway through my first week there. Donna and I are still in the process of moving into our apartment, and we are excited that we finally got internet in this place.

But meanwhile, things between me and the Lord don't seem as fine. Lately, I've been feeling like He's disappointed in me, and I've been also feeling sometimes almost overwhelming feelings of fear, and worry, about class, about finances, about time management, and to top it off, I have been feeling spiritually inadequate when it comes to the school of ministry.
I talk to the guys, and they all have ministries they are all involved in, and they just seem to be on a spiritual level way past me, which makes it very hard to try to relate to. and I just feel... frustrated I guess. and I hate it, I'm supposed to be the one who is encouraging Donna, but I find that she more often is the one who has to encourage me. I just feel like a shadow has descended upon me.

Now I know that to some degree that this is a spiritual attack, and also to some degree it is just because I feel uncomfortable. But I just need that peace that comes from the Lord, I need His guidance, and I need His strength. So if you all could pray for me about that that would be awesome.

Now one of my favorite titles of God is redeemer. How He takes what is broken down, that which is messy and worthless to many people, and how He takes it and makes something new, and beautiful out of it. God I pray that you do that. Redeem this time, use even this time of trial and make something beautiful out of it. I do not want to spend this time being a mopey sourpuss. So God take this time, and make something out of it. Something that glorifies you.

Sorry if this post was a bit down. But being able to write this out actually helped me to process this stuff a lot quicker and better.

Prayer

It's only 2 weeks before the School of ministry begins, and we still do not have an apartment, or any form of gainful employment. And this is frustrating me to no end, I know that God wants me here, I know that He wants me to be going go the school of ministry, yet He still has not given me what I need to be able to survive there, and I hate that.

I hear about those stories of God coming in at the last minute and providing everything that people need, and I am hoping that that will be the case with us as well. But what if I read the signals wrong? What if I am not called to go to Costa Mesa, what then? I have placed all my attention on this one thing because I felt that that is where the Lord is leading me, and I really have no backup plan. So if you could pray for me and Donna right now about that that would be great, you can read the rest of my blog when you are done, it'll still be here.

Lately, because of this situation, I have been praying a lot. However, something that Donna mentioned to me in passing really made me think. Where has my prayer focus been lately? Prayer is supposed to be communication between me and God, however, I believe that I have begun to mess that idea up.
See, as of late, my prayers consist primarily of me asking God for things, like a job, or an apartment, or peace, or many other things. Now praying for these things are not bad. But, my prayer life has switched from spending time talking with and getting to know God, to that of a boy only talking to his Father so that he can get something. I'm reminded of the movie "Fools Gold" (The movie was ok, not really worth seeing). Now in that movie, we have a rich father, whose relationship with his daughter essentially revolves around her asking her dad for things, and then him giving them to her.
That's not what God wants, and that is not what I want. Paul commands us in 1 Thessalonians 5 to pray without ceasing. While this shows us how our attitude should be, one of constant communication with our Lord, it also shows us God's heart in that He wants to be a part of every activity. He wants to be intimately involved with every activity, and sadly instead I mostly only come to Him when I need money.

It is so good to hear when God tells me these things. So now as I pray I'm not just going to give God my list of things I need, but instead meditate on Him, and His Word, and spend time in Koininia with Him.

Costa Mesa, The Aspens, and more!

Well, just yesterday Donna and I got back from visiting Costa Mesa, and let me tell you it was pretty interesting. Sunday we went to Chuck Smith's church (which you can read about by going to Donna's blog which is right there on the right hand side of this page marked "Donna Lovie.") The next day Donna and I spent most of the day looking at apartments, and it began to get frustrating, most of the places we looked were too expensive, and it was hot outside. So, being tired and warm, Donna and I began to grouch at each other, Donna would complain about my driving, I would complain that she needs to quit nagging me... it was a whole deal. Around this time, I had us stop, and we prayed, about the apartment situation, and about our attitudes, just giving them up to the Lord, and asking Him for wisdom.
It was then, that we discovered the most amazing apartments in existence. The Apartments were known as the Aspens, and the atmosphere there was amazing, it was close to the school, and at a price that we could afford, 1 bedroom, 1 bath, gated community, with 4 swimming pools. It was amazing. This all leads back to really what I wanted to briefly talk about.

That night, as Donna was sleeping, I became filled with doubts. I was attacked with questions and statements going anywhere from "How are you going to afford to live, here? Where are you going to get a job?" "All this stuff is too big of a hassle. This calling to ministry is for other people who have more faith, just go back to San Diego, and get a job in construction or something." to "With both of you having to work, you'll never see each other and Donna will eventually leave you for someone who will be able to give her quality time." All of these I knew weren't from God, but I just felt overwhelmed by this attack.

I was freaking out. So I got up, and meditated on the Word. God gave me two passages that really encouraged me. Matthew 7:7-11, and 1 Timothy 6:17.

Through the Matthew Passage, I was reminded that God is good, all His gifts are good, and He loves giving gifts to His children when we ask him for them. So often I subconsciously think that God gives, but only the bare minimum, or gives gifts that are good for me, but not something that I want. Like getting socks for your birthday from your grandparents when you really wanted a transformer.
-This passage reminded me though, that God loves giving gifts to his children, and that I shouldn't expect the gifts God gives to me to suck.

In the other passage, Paul commands that those who are rich to not put their trust in their riches, but instead in Him who gives us all thing.
My fears, were based on the fact that I was trying to do just that. I was trying to figure out a way to get enough riches to be able to afford everything, and it was bringing me to a point of despair. While I am in no way rich, I was trying to trust my own abilities, my own schemes, as a way to figure out how to survive, instead of trusting in the God who is able to do more than we can ask or think.

Really my issue came down to my lack of faith in the Lord, I said that I trusted Him, but the reality is my attitude proved otherwise. So that night I wrote out all my doubts and fears onto a piece of paper, and like Hezekiah in 2 Kings 19, I spread this piece of paper out before the Lord. It was at that point that I truly through much prayer and tears, that I finally gave it all over to my Jesus. And like Philippians 4:6-7 said, the peace of God which transcends all understanding began to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Where there was once fear there was now joy, where there was dread there was now excitement.

Now I don't know how this is going to work out, where we are going to live, or where we are going to work. But like a kid who is moving away, not entirely sure where he's going. I trust that my Dad will handle all the details.

My 1st post as a married man!

Wow, it's my first blog as a married man. How exciting.
Well I guess I should be talking about the wedding, but to be honest, it was kind of a blur. I'm sure once I see the pictures I will remember everything. All I really remember was seeing Donna in that dress for the first time... To be quite honest it blew me away. She looked beautiful. I'm sure I was smiling from ear to ear, interestingly enough it wasn't until that moment that it truly hit me that I was going to marry this woman, and that gave me joy.

The honeymoon was amazing! Donna and I got a 3 day pass to Disneyland, and it was nice being able to just go to the park at our leisure. The weather was great, and the lines were not very long at all. In fact Donna and I talked about it, and we don't think that we waited longer than 20 minutes for any ride.
The hotel we stayed at was also pretty nice as well, and we got an awesome deal, we stayed in the travelodge, which was within walking distance to the park, and because we reserved the rooms early, the hotel was only $55, a night which was an amazing deal, especially for that area.
It's nice being back in San Diego, but now that we are married, Donna and I both feel the urge to go off on our own. It's really true what the Bible says about the man leaving his parents and being joined to his wife, we are ready to completely leave the "child stage" and enter into a whole new stage of life. That's not to say that I don't love Donna's folks, because I do, they are amazing, but it's time to have us go out and stand on our own two feet (With the Lord's help)

As many of you probably know, Donna and I both have jobs right now which is nice, Donna is working for the San Diego School board, as a secretary, and I am working with the Santee School district as a Substitute for Project Safe, an after school/summer program. It's nice to be working, but I wish that I had more hours, I only worked 2 days this week, because they didn't need any subs. So I am looking for another part time job which will bring in more money.

We are both really looking forward to going off to the School of Ministry this Fall, but if you all would keep us in your prayers that would be great, just that the Lord would help us find an affordable apartment, and good jobs.