Costa Mesa, The Aspens, and more!

Well, just yesterday Donna and I got back from visiting Costa Mesa, and let me tell you it was pretty interesting. Sunday we went to Chuck Smith's church (which you can read about by going to Donna's blog which is right there on the right hand side of this page marked "Donna Lovie.") The next day Donna and I spent most of the day looking at apartments, and it began to get frustrating, most of the places we looked were too expensive, and it was hot outside. So, being tired and warm, Donna and I began to grouch at each other, Donna would complain about my driving, I would complain that she needs to quit nagging me... it was a whole deal. Around this time, I had us stop, and we prayed, about the apartment situation, and about our attitudes, just giving them up to the Lord, and asking Him for wisdom.
It was then, that we discovered the most amazing apartments in existence. The Apartments were known as the Aspens, and the atmosphere there was amazing, it was close to the school, and at a price that we could afford, 1 bedroom, 1 bath, gated community, with 4 swimming pools. It was amazing. This all leads back to really what I wanted to briefly talk about.

That night, as Donna was sleeping, I became filled with doubts. I was attacked with questions and statements going anywhere from "How are you going to afford to live, here? Where are you going to get a job?" "All this stuff is too big of a hassle. This calling to ministry is for other people who have more faith, just go back to San Diego, and get a job in construction or something." to "With both of you having to work, you'll never see each other and Donna will eventually leave you for someone who will be able to give her quality time." All of these I knew weren't from God, but I just felt overwhelmed by this attack.

I was freaking out. So I got up, and meditated on the Word. God gave me two passages that really encouraged me. Matthew 7:7-11, and 1 Timothy 6:17.

Through the Matthew Passage, I was reminded that God is good, all His gifts are good, and He loves giving gifts to His children when we ask him for them. So often I subconsciously think that God gives, but only the bare minimum, or gives gifts that are good for me, but not something that I want. Like getting socks for your birthday from your grandparents when you really wanted a transformer.
-This passage reminded me though, that God loves giving gifts to his children, and that I shouldn't expect the gifts God gives to me to suck.

In the other passage, Paul commands that those who are rich to not put their trust in their riches, but instead in Him who gives us all thing.
My fears, were based on the fact that I was trying to do just that. I was trying to figure out a way to get enough riches to be able to afford everything, and it was bringing me to a point of despair. While I am in no way rich, I was trying to trust my own abilities, my own schemes, as a way to figure out how to survive, instead of trusting in the God who is able to do more than we can ask or think.

Really my issue came down to my lack of faith in the Lord, I said that I trusted Him, but the reality is my attitude proved otherwise. So that night I wrote out all my doubts and fears onto a piece of paper, and like Hezekiah in 2 Kings 19, I spread this piece of paper out before the Lord. It was at that point that I truly through much prayer and tears, that I finally gave it all over to my Jesus. And like Philippians 4:6-7 said, the peace of God which transcends all understanding began to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Where there was once fear there was now joy, where there was dread there was now excitement.

Now I don't know how this is going to work out, where we are going to live, or where we are going to work. But like a kid who is moving away, not entirely sure where he's going. I trust that my Dad will handle all the details.