My Christmas

This past Friday Donna and I celebrated our first Christmas as a married couple, and we did so at her parents house. We got there on Wednesday night, and met our friends at Bret and Heather's place, and we had a good time just catching up with our friends. We got back to Donna's folks house quite late and pretty much just immediately went to sleep.

The next day was Christmas Eve, and we spent most of that day playing on her parents Wii, and then went to church that night. While we loved seeing all the people we knew there, and were happy to be back at good old Pathways, a part of me couldn't help but miss going to the church that we are going to currently here in Buena Park. I just feel a connection there, and I'm pretty sure that Donna feels the same way.

Anyway, after church we came home, and just sat on the couches and hung out until about 10, and as the tradition went there in the Blaisdell House we watched a Muppet Christmas Carol, though some of us watched more than others (a.k.a. Donna fell asleep within the first 20 minutes.

Now as an outsider being brought in, Christmas is definately a different thing there. With my family we sleep in, and then open a few gifts in the morning. And then open more gifts in the afternoon and then some in the evening. We spread things out. This is completely different from Donna's tradition. There, everyone gets awakened at an early hour (7am) by Donna, and then once everyone comes in the living room they all open up all their presents at once.

Now there is something to be said for both traditions (except maybe the getting up at 7 part) it is on one hand nice to spread the gifts out throughout the entire day, but on the other hand it is also nice to just get it all out in the open so that you can have the whole day to use what you got, so neither is better... but I lean towards wanting to do it the way that I have always done it (doing it that way for 24 previous Christmas's made me biased)

As for the gift getting department, I really made out like a bandit, everyone did so well this year. I got pretty much everything that I wanted, and more (J and Les got us a Wii! Yipee)

That afternoon, I got to have a nice chat with my family over skype (that is an amazing program) and then Donna, Jo, Chris, and I beat the Raving Rabbid's game on their parents Wii.

Later that afternoon we had a huge ham dinner which I think my waist might be feeling now. It was delicious. I pretty much immediately after dinner fell into a Christmas dinner coma, and slept for about an hour while most of the others watched a movie.

That night, Donna and I went over to Brock's and then carpooled over to the movie theater to see Sherlock Holmes. Let me tell you that movie was fantastic. I loved pretty much everything about it and I honestly would recommend it to pretty much anyone.

We came home the next morning, and had to get back to the daily grind of work. It's nice though having the break from class. While I enjoy it a lot, it is nice not having to go to school every single morning.

Yesterday, the 27th of December, Donna and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary. We did so by going to work, and then when I got home cleaning our apartment, and then cooking Donna dinner, quickly followed by both of us going to bed at around 9:30 and sleeping till almost 10 the next morning... Exciting stuff I'm sure.

Anyway, with the New Year coming up this Friday, I guess I should start reflecting on my year, a year in review, if you will. With everything that has gone on for me, and for Donna, it would be good to look back.

Anyway I hope everyone's Christmas was amazing! and that as we continue to ponder God's remedy for our failings, that we would truly continue, not in the "Spirit of Christmas" whatever that is, but instead we would continue in God's Spirit, allowing Him to lead our lives so that we too can express the love and generosity that God first expressed to us first in a manger and ultimately though Calvary.

Money

Money is probably the number 1 thing that I worry about. I know that I am to be anxious for nothing, but I find that there are definitely times when I cant help but begin to worry about our financial situation. Last night I was laying in bed a bit worried about our finances, and when I fell asleep I had a dream. I was at my house in Ga, and I only had a roll of penny's to my name. I complained how I didn't have enough money for anything, and out of frustration, I grabbed one of the penny's, and threw it at the wall, and when it bounced back it was a nickel. I threw it again and it came back as a dime, and then a quarter, a 50 cent piece, and then finally one of those gold dollars. And it was then that I realized that God was providing for me, there were scoffers saying that somehow the money was already up there and I was just knocking it loose, and that it wasn't a miracle, but I knew that it was, that He was changing my meager circumstances and transform it into something great. It was later this morning that I was reminded of the story in Matthew 17 in which Jesus told Peter to go fish, and when he caught the fish it was the exact amount that he and Jesus needed to pay their taxes, and it caused me to both realize that our God is very good to us, and that if God Is more than able to provide. If He can cause a fish to swallow enough for the taxes for the both of them, the He is more than able to provide for our meager existence. Our God is good!

And then it gets rough.

Anyway, so I have a new layout, I got tired of my old one, and I figured it was time for a change... I hope you like it, I know I do.

So this week has been hard. On Saturday night I got sick, and I got worse. On Monday I went to class, and I was so sick that I went home after my first class and slept, but because it was my second day, I still went to work. And then on Wednesday Donna caught my illness. My mom thinks it was the swine flu, but because I didn't grow a curly tail, and have an intense desire to roll in the mud (at least any more than usual) I think it might have just been the regular flu. I'm finally feeling not dead, and I think Donna is feeling much better as well.

Yesterday, when driving to class, my car started to sputter, and eventually died. Praise the Lord that it died right by a mechanic, which was also in walking distance from where I live, so I was able to drop it off there and walk home. Long story short, it cost 425 to repair and it still needs more maintenance done to it, but it at least drives...

So, all that to say that this week was rough. But God was good, and kept us alive and going, even when in my tiredness and frustration, I began to doubt Him. Thank you Lord for providing for us, and keeping us safe. Please continue to do so.

Anyway, something else I noticed is that I lack discipline. Especially when it comes to the areas of daily devotion and prayer . Now I know that this is something a lot of people struggle with, but I'm seeing all the more now how much I NEED it. While this is of course obvious to any believer, it has really been hitting me hard lately.

It all started the other day when Donna was at Starbucks, and, long story short a man walked by her and and said "I just wanted to say, that I felt lead to tell you that God cherishes His time with you." When she told me that story, I could just hear God say to me, "I cherish my time with you too." And I realized that I do not spend enough time with Him.

Now you'd think that that would have changed my heart and I am now spending hours upon hours with Him. But the truth is, while for that day, things may have been better, I got preoccupied with other things, and next thing you know I realize that I have not spent time with God in over a week. Sure I go to class and learn about the Word, sure I may go to church and worship and hear a good sermon, but how much time have I spent before the Throne of Grace myself? Little.

And when I do come to Him it's usually because I have a problem, or because I feel guilted into it. And I hate that.
Yet this has been a consistent pattern in my life...

Now, I'm not entirely sure how, but this has got to change. Because God is way too important not to be the number 1 priority in my life.

My life, or something like it.

Well, I know it has been a while since I last updated this thing, and that's just because life has become really busy as of late, which kind of stinks, because it causes me to realize just undisciplined I am. It also makes me feel frazzled.

To start off the apartment is cool, and it is really finally starting to feel like home. We have pretty much got everything put away, which is nice. We just need to figure out what to put on the walls and we'll be completely here. I gave my Dad the virtual tour via skype, it's nice here.

School is alright, the classes are alright, but I've found this past week at least, that I really had the wrong motivation when it came to homework, I've been doing it just to get it done, but not with the type of introspective thought that should be going into it. Plus, I've found that I'm trying to just show everyone how smart I am. Which sadly is working, people have been complimenting me on it, but that's just a pride issue. I should be there to learn not to show off. On the bright side since I recognized these things I can change.
I will say though that it has been good. The teachers really love Jesus, and I can tell that through talking to them, and seeing them, and I know that there is a lot that I can learn from them.
The latest news, I got a job at a comic book store! It was cool, I had been looking around for a job, and I asked the guy if they were hiring and he said that he was quitting within the next week, and told me to turn in an application, so I went and applied on Wednesday and the owner told me that while that store wasn't hiring, the other one he owed down the road was. So after a 30 minute interview about which comics I read, and how reliable I am, I got the job provided I could find the other store.
So I did and I the people there were really awesome. I've only been there for a little while, but I think I'll be liking it.

So, anyway, if you are reading this, I probably miss you. I hope that things are going well.

2 weeks till my birthday!

-Aaron

Quick update

Hey all,
I was reading my past blog, and I realized that that was probably a bad one to have as the last blog up at the time. While it was an honest representation of what I was feeling at that time... I'm doing better.
Anyway, I will hopefully have a new post up soon, I've been super busy with school, being married, and life. But expect a new post soon.
Aaron

Much prayer wanted

Well school started last thursday, and I am now about halfway through my first week there. Donna and I are still in the process of moving into our apartment, and we are excited that we finally got internet in this place.

But meanwhile, things between me and the Lord don't seem as fine. Lately, I've been feeling like He's disappointed in me, and I've been also feeling sometimes almost overwhelming feelings of fear, and worry, about class, about finances, about time management, and to top it off, I have been feeling spiritually inadequate when it comes to the school of ministry.
I talk to the guys, and they all have ministries they are all involved in, and they just seem to be on a spiritual level way past me, which makes it very hard to try to relate to. and I just feel... frustrated I guess. and I hate it, I'm supposed to be the one who is encouraging Donna, but I find that she more often is the one who has to encourage me. I just feel like a shadow has descended upon me.

Now I know that to some degree that this is a spiritual attack, and also to some degree it is just because I feel uncomfortable. But I just need that peace that comes from the Lord, I need His guidance, and I need His strength. So if you all could pray for me about that that would be awesome.

Now one of my favorite titles of God is redeemer. How He takes what is broken down, that which is messy and worthless to many people, and how He takes it and makes something new, and beautiful out of it. God I pray that you do that. Redeem this time, use even this time of trial and make something beautiful out of it. I do not want to spend this time being a mopey sourpuss. So God take this time, and make something out of it. Something that glorifies you.

Sorry if this post was a bit down. But being able to write this out actually helped me to process this stuff a lot quicker and better.

Prayer

It's only 2 weeks before the School of ministry begins, and we still do not have an apartment, or any form of gainful employment. And this is frustrating me to no end, I know that God wants me here, I know that He wants me to be going go the school of ministry, yet He still has not given me what I need to be able to survive there, and I hate that.

I hear about those stories of God coming in at the last minute and providing everything that people need, and I am hoping that that will be the case with us as well. But what if I read the signals wrong? What if I am not called to go to Costa Mesa, what then? I have placed all my attention on this one thing because I felt that that is where the Lord is leading me, and I really have no backup plan. So if you could pray for me and Donna right now about that that would be great, you can read the rest of my blog when you are done, it'll still be here.

Lately, because of this situation, I have been praying a lot. However, something that Donna mentioned to me in passing really made me think. Where has my prayer focus been lately? Prayer is supposed to be communication between me and God, however, I believe that I have begun to mess that idea up.
See, as of late, my prayers consist primarily of me asking God for things, like a job, or an apartment, or peace, or many other things. Now praying for these things are not bad. But, my prayer life has switched from spending time talking with and getting to know God, to that of a boy only talking to his Father so that he can get something. I'm reminded of the movie "Fools Gold" (The movie was ok, not really worth seeing). Now in that movie, we have a rich father, whose relationship with his daughter essentially revolves around her asking her dad for things, and then him giving them to her.
That's not what God wants, and that is not what I want. Paul commands us in 1 Thessalonians 5 to pray without ceasing. While this shows us how our attitude should be, one of constant communication with our Lord, it also shows us God's heart in that He wants to be a part of every activity. He wants to be intimately involved with every activity, and sadly instead I mostly only come to Him when I need money.

It is so good to hear when God tells me these things. So now as I pray I'm not just going to give God my list of things I need, but instead meditate on Him, and His Word, and spend time in Koininia with Him.

Costa Mesa, The Aspens, and more!

Well, just yesterday Donna and I got back from visiting Costa Mesa, and let me tell you it was pretty interesting. Sunday we went to Chuck Smith's church (which you can read about by going to Donna's blog which is right there on the right hand side of this page marked "Donna Lovie.") The next day Donna and I spent most of the day looking at apartments, and it began to get frustrating, most of the places we looked were too expensive, and it was hot outside. So, being tired and warm, Donna and I began to grouch at each other, Donna would complain about my driving, I would complain that she needs to quit nagging me... it was a whole deal. Around this time, I had us stop, and we prayed, about the apartment situation, and about our attitudes, just giving them up to the Lord, and asking Him for wisdom.
It was then, that we discovered the most amazing apartments in existence. The Apartments were known as the Aspens, and the atmosphere there was amazing, it was close to the school, and at a price that we could afford, 1 bedroom, 1 bath, gated community, with 4 swimming pools. It was amazing. This all leads back to really what I wanted to briefly talk about.

That night, as Donna was sleeping, I became filled with doubts. I was attacked with questions and statements going anywhere from "How are you going to afford to live, here? Where are you going to get a job?" "All this stuff is too big of a hassle. This calling to ministry is for other people who have more faith, just go back to San Diego, and get a job in construction or something." to "With both of you having to work, you'll never see each other and Donna will eventually leave you for someone who will be able to give her quality time." All of these I knew weren't from God, but I just felt overwhelmed by this attack.

I was freaking out. So I got up, and meditated on the Word. God gave me two passages that really encouraged me. Matthew 7:7-11, and 1 Timothy 6:17.

Through the Matthew Passage, I was reminded that God is good, all His gifts are good, and He loves giving gifts to His children when we ask him for them. So often I subconsciously think that God gives, but only the bare minimum, or gives gifts that are good for me, but not something that I want. Like getting socks for your birthday from your grandparents when you really wanted a transformer.
-This passage reminded me though, that God loves giving gifts to his children, and that I shouldn't expect the gifts God gives to me to suck.

In the other passage, Paul commands that those who are rich to not put their trust in their riches, but instead in Him who gives us all thing.
My fears, were based on the fact that I was trying to do just that. I was trying to figure out a way to get enough riches to be able to afford everything, and it was bringing me to a point of despair. While I am in no way rich, I was trying to trust my own abilities, my own schemes, as a way to figure out how to survive, instead of trusting in the God who is able to do more than we can ask or think.

Really my issue came down to my lack of faith in the Lord, I said that I trusted Him, but the reality is my attitude proved otherwise. So that night I wrote out all my doubts and fears onto a piece of paper, and like Hezekiah in 2 Kings 19, I spread this piece of paper out before the Lord. It was at that point that I truly through much prayer and tears, that I finally gave it all over to my Jesus. And like Philippians 4:6-7 said, the peace of God which transcends all understanding began to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Where there was once fear there was now joy, where there was dread there was now excitement.

Now I don't know how this is going to work out, where we are going to live, or where we are going to work. But like a kid who is moving away, not entirely sure where he's going. I trust that my Dad will handle all the details.

My 1st post as a married man!

Wow, it's my first blog as a married man. How exciting.
Well I guess I should be talking about the wedding, but to be honest, it was kind of a blur. I'm sure once I see the pictures I will remember everything. All I really remember was seeing Donna in that dress for the first time... To be quite honest it blew me away. She looked beautiful. I'm sure I was smiling from ear to ear, interestingly enough it wasn't until that moment that it truly hit me that I was going to marry this woman, and that gave me joy.

The honeymoon was amazing! Donna and I got a 3 day pass to Disneyland, and it was nice being able to just go to the park at our leisure. The weather was great, and the lines were not very long at all. In fact Donna and I talked about it, and we don't think that we waited longer than 20 minutes for any ride.
The hotel we stayed at was also pretty nice as well, and we got an awesome deal, we stayed in the travelodge, which was within walking distance to the park, and because we reserved the rooms early, the hotel was only $55, a night which was an amazing deal, especially for that area.
It's nice being back in San Diego, but now that we are married, Donna and I both feel the urge to go off on our own. It's really true what the Bible says about the man leaving his parents and being joined to his wife, we are ready to completely leave the "child stage" and enter into a whole new stage of life. That's not to say that I don't love Donna's folks, because I do, they are amazing, but it's time to have us go out and stand on our own two feet (With the Lord's help)

As many of you probably know, Donna and I both have jobs right now which is nice, Donna is working for the San Diego School board, as a secretary, and I am working with the Santee School district as a Substitute for Project Safe, an after school/summer program. It's nice to be working, but I wish that I had more hours, I only worked 2 days this week, because they didn't need any subs. So I am looking for another part time job which will bring in more money.

We are both really looking forward to going off to the School of Ministry this Fall, but if you all would keep us in your prayers that would be great, just that the Lord would help us find an affordable apartment, and good jobs.

The calm before the storm

This week there is stuff that needs to be done, but life has definitely slowed down, which is nice. It's hard to believe that in about 11 days I am going to be a married man. I'm not really nervous about it at all except to say that at that point I HAVE to be the leader, and I'm going to need also to be providing for her. So while I'm am super excited to be getting married, being the husband that Donna needs is not something that comes naturally.

Camp, coyote hunting, and being a man

So as I posted in my last blog, last week I went to camp. It was definitely an interesting experience. The camp had 3 Catholic private schools 6th graders come for the week for "educational fun." Where the kids basically had to sit around, in class, and learn about living in the wild instead of actually going out and learning out in nature which I thought was kind of lame, but I tried to make sure that my guys had fun.
Overall the week was pretty fun though, my friends Lucas and Ed were there, and so we were able to hang out while the kids were in class, and talk about everything that was going on in out lives, women, and theology which I loved.
My kids were pretty good too, while they were talkers, they were respectful to me in that when I told them to do something they listened. Which was nice!
M biggest problem with the camp was that because it was a Catholic week, we were not to talk to them about anything that was contrary to the Catholic faith. Which, to be honest, I didn't follow. When my kids said things like, Mary is going to come with Jesus to Redeem humanity (granted it was in 6th grade vernacular) I had to set them strait biblically. But for the most part this was not really an issue.

On the last night, at about 11pm, Lucas comes running into my cabin, and tells me that they caught a wolf in this one kitchen area. So I hopped out of bed and went with him to go check it out. We soon found out though, that there were no wolves in the area and that what they caught was most likely a coyote. So armed with a broom and a couple of rakes, Ed, Lucas and I went to slay this ravenous beast. However when we got there we found nothing but a trash can that had been tipped over. The coyote had escaped.
At this point Lucas told Ed and I that he had always want to hunt a coyote, so we, armed with now 3 rakes and a flashlight, went out in search of coyote. After searching for about a half hour however, we began to realize that it was probably gone, and also that coyotes usually run in packs, so with the thought of having to kill an entire pack was not anywhere near as appealing.

While at camp, I listened to a sermon series on my iPod entitled "Biblical Manliness." The premise of the series is that society today is stripping men of biblical masculinity, and replacing it with either a wrong view, with men being confused, sex crazed, idiotic, hotheads, or with the view that masculinity is wrong.

Both of these views though are a slap in the face of biblical masculinity. But we as men need to return to the idea of defending women's honor instead of making them out to just be objects, we need to be willing to lead others even when it goes against what society says is okay, and we need to remember that there are times that it is not only right, but also necessary to fight. Men are not the same as women, God created us differently, and we need to celebrate that difference, and honor God with it.

Going off to camp

So it was definitely a spur of the moment thing, but I am going off today to go to a camp for the week to be a counselor. This is going to be the longest time I've been apart from Donna. So I am probably going to miss her, but I think that tis is going to be good for us. If you all want to pray for me that'll be cool. I'll tell you all about the camp when I get back.
-Aaron

Random thoughts

The thought just occurred to me. I am marrying my best friend. Donna is the one who I talk to about everything, she is the one who I spend most of my time with, and she is the one who will always have my back, and I will always have hers.

It's weird too because I have never felt this close to anyone. I feel vulnerable, yet at the same time I feel at peace. I am excited to be marrying her.

Did Adam and Eve have navels? If not, did Cain and Abel look at theirs and think that they were made wrong?

Like Donna said in her blog I too am in that weird place, in between being married and being allowed to think about sex, and being single and not being allowed to.

I think it's even worse for the Christian guy though. Because if a girl talks about it, then she is just "looking forward to the intimacy of her wedding night." However, it seems like if a guy talks about it, he is "a perv who only has one thing on his mind." So instead of having an honest discussion with the other men about sex, we just tend not to say anything.
But I think that this is a disservice to us men. God created sex, both for procreation and marital recreation, so why does it seem so wrong to talk about it in a honest and God pleasing manner?

So last Friday I dislocated my shoulder, which hurt let me tell you, but I didn't go to the doctor for it, since I don't have health insurance, and so now almost a week later, it still hurts if I move it in certain directions. I hope it heals up soon there is a lot of painting and other work that needs to get done pronto stat.

The wedding is drawing near!

Today it is officially 2 months till we are getting married. Awesome!
There is still so much that needs to be done though, things like invitations, or painting rooms are more time consuming than I would like to confess. So we'll see how that goes.

In other news, I still have not heard from the School of Ministry, so in some regard I am in limbo, at least when it comes to what we are going to be doing next. I guess I need to lift this up, even more, in prayer.

What to do...

I'm at a point where I am in need of making decisions, the biggest one of course is what to do after the wedding. I am blessed with the knowledge that I have a wonderful woman who has told me "I trust that you are listening to God, and so I will follow you wherever God is calling you to go." However, the place where I feel He is calling me is going to really cause us both to have to step out in faith.

We don't have the money to do anything, yet at the same time I am beginning to feel like that doesn't matter... I just wish that I knew for certain that taking this next big step was of God. I am just afraid that I am just doing something of myself, and because of this I'll fail.

Is it wrong to go out with nothing but the knowledge that that is where God wants you to be? Is it wrong to leave the security of everything, and in faith jump headfirst into the unknown?

Lord, give me your wisdom in this.

It ain't easy.

It came to my attention last night that I was expecting going off into full-time ministry would be easy. Yet last night God told me that if I want the easy life, then I am not pursuing the right career path. I need to be the type that is willing to do the hard stuff. Someone who is willing to stick to it, even when the going gets tough. I've been reading through the book of Acts, and specifically the ministry of Paul, and I'm beginning to realize that a life for Christ is not for the weak of heart, it is not easy, yet there is nothing more fulfilling than a life that is seeking to diligently seek Him.

So I wrote in the bible, "may I never seek the easy way out, but instead be seeking the jobs that require work."

On another note, a few weeks back, I talked and prayed with a man named Keith Kelley. He was living on the streets, and was just trying to get his life back together. He recently got a job at the sweet factory, a little booth that sold candy, and so I went to visit him today.

It turns out that since I last talked to him, the Lord has given him a place to stay, a second job as a mechanic, has made it a point to completely stay away from alcohol, and is making it a point to take some responsibility for his life which is amazing!

When I heard this, I was filled with joy, the fact that the Lord is doing these great things in his life. I just pray, and hope that you all pray too, that he will make it a point to really be seeking the Lord, and that he would stay away from the things that tempted him in the past, like drugs and alcohol.

This good day!

I find it amazing how God just throws people into my life to say things to me right when I need them, and also sends us people into our lives also to help.

Today I was feeling, like I have been for the past few weeks, pretty frustrated. With others constantly telling me what I should do next, I would try things, yet every time I would try something it would fall through, I found myself just feeling completely... frustrated.

So today at Starbucks, Donna and I went to Starbucks, and just were sitting on the couch, just talking about the situation. It is there that I realized that one of the biggest issues I had was the fact that I didn't want to begin to pursue something that wasn't the Lord's will for me, yet at the same time I couldn't figure out what that will was for my life.

While there, a lady walks in with her baby, and somehow we started talking to her. She turned out to be a believer, and we had a good talk. During the conversation the lady gave me a verse, Proverbs 16:9 which says "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." This verse really spoke to me, because while I am making plans and stuff, I'm afraid of failure, so because of this I'm afraid to step out, and in doing so fail. But through this verse, God really said to me, "If you are earnestly seeking me, then as you go out, I will direct your path." That was really cool!

Then later that night, Donna and I went to the "Dinner and a movie" at Pathways. While there, we met this young married couple, Jack and Lindsi. It was pretty awesome being able to just talk with them, and minister to them about the Lord.

Overall it was good day being able to minister to people is what I want to spend the rest of my life doing, and while my situation right now isn't any different, I am learning that as I step out for Christ, He will handle everything.

Yup

So it's been a long time since I've posted a new blog, and I'm planning to write a long one soon. This blog is really to let everyone know that I am still alive and well.
I'm teaching tonight which should be pretty fun hopefully.

Happy New Year!

It's 2009! This is going to be a big year, this year I will get married! In fact our wedding is less then 6 months away, that is amazing!

Happy New years everyone, I hope it finds you blessed, content, and filled with all the richness of God's grace.