The Life and Times of a Christian Guy

Duncan

2011-08-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

We found our cat again today. She had escaped from the apartment by climbing up our rocking chair and putting a hole through the screen on our window. She was gone since Saturday, and honestly we thought she was gone for good. But then we found her, hiding under a car, terrified, hungry and filthy.

The sight of her brought back the memories of when we first found her because she was in the exact same state, terrified, hungry, filthy, and hiding under a car. She had returned to the place where we had found her.

Yet both times, we found her, we lovingly coaxed her to us with tuna, washed her, fed her, gave her toys, and loved her. She is our cat.

All this caused me to think about how we as Christians are often like this. There was a time, when we were marred by sin, starving for truth, and were trapped in a state of hopelessness.

But then Jesus came along. He saw us pursued us, and through love and kindness, He brought us to Himself. He then washed us from our sin, gave us a heavenly home, removed our fear, and fed us with the bread of life.

Yet like Duncan, after a while, there comes a point where we become discontent, this especially happen when we get saved at a young age (Just like Duncan first got brought in as a kitten) we know of His goodness, His love, His continual provision, yet we want more. We eventually envision His palace as if it were a prison, keeping us from doing all those things that are outside of His will that we think will bring joy.

So, when the moment arises, we run. We pursue the things that we thought would bring us joy, and freedom only to find that these things wind up leading us right back to where we first started. Only there is a difference now. While before when we lived in sin, and hopelessness we believed that this was all that there is. But now, we've had the tuna, we have experienced the richness of His grace and love, and so when we have gone back to eating garbage, when we are back in our sin, we find ourselves worse off.

But just like Donna and I pursued Duncan, even when she has fled, and has become dirty, and hungry again because she is our Cat. So Christ seeks us out, even when we run, because we are His.

Finally a new post.

2011-02-24T17:21:00.000-08:00

I have started to write a new blog about 20 times so far since my last post and for some reason or another I have yet to finish them. I think that I am just going to toss them especially since most of them are just complaints, and while they may at times feel good to type, they probably wouldn't feel good to read.

Now that being said life has been interesting. God has as of late been showing me that I need to just man up and step out. I have come to realize that I am a cautious person, I used to think that I wasn't, but I am. However, as of late God has been desiring that I step out, to leave from this comfortable place and step out to a place where I feel uncomfortable, where I feel incapable.

First off, next fall I have been asked to teach at the School of Ministry at my church, not the one I am going to, another one. Now I have come to realize that I love teaching. My heart is all for it, but at the same time, I look at the others who are going to be teaching there, my pastor who has been doing ministry for over 30 years, a professor from BIOLA, and my college Pastor, and then I look at myself. I have no experience in this other than taking the classes, and studying the bible myself. In my heart I love the idea, because sharing with people how to study His word is awesome. But as for the rest of me, I have this desire to run, to decline, because who I am to be able to do something like this?

Next, there is the couples study that Donna and I are praying about doing this summer. The more I see the church, the more I am realizing the need for there to be an opportunity for young people who are now married to spend time in the word, in fellowship and in prayer with other young couples. But yet again, the fear arises, there is a need, but who am I to fill it?

Really when it comes down to it, the issue I have comes down to a fear of failure. What if I step out, try these things and I find that I am incapable of doing them?

I see myself wanting to play it safe, to just sit in the kiddie pool. Yet, I can feel God telling me to step out, to get out of the comfortableness of the kiddie pool (which is probably filled with urine from all the other kids playing in it. Not really part of the analogy, but still a disgustingly good point, don't let your kids drink that water, urine and chlorine are not good for them) and to dive head first into the deep end.

I shout "I'm too weak" and He replies "My strength is made perfect in your weakness."

I say, "I don't talk good" (intentionally using improper English) yet He says "Who has made man's mouth... Is it not I the LORD? Now therefore go and I will be with your mouth, and teach you what to say."

I whisper, "but I'm a sinner," and with lovingly compassionate voice He whispers back "I was wounded for your transgressions, I was bruised for your iniquities, the chastisement for your peace was upon me, and by My stripes you were healed. Though you like sheep have gone astray, gone your own way, I have had all your iniquity laid on me. So if you confess your sins, I who am both faithful and just will forgive you of your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness."

So I now stand as I stand looking at the kiddie pool and the deep end I have a choice, do I stay comfortable? do I refuse to step out and this live a life of mediocrity? Or do I step out, leave the comfortable in pursuit of that which the Lord would have for me?

The same can be asked of you,

I for one choose the latter.

A Quote

2010-09-15T21:49:00.001-07:00

I know it has been a long time since I have blogged about anything. And a good personal biographical one is coming up, however, I wanted to share this quote by Hudson Taylor with you, it has been something that I have been meditating on a lot lately.

"If God has called you to be really like Jesus in your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put on you such demands of obedience that He will not allow you to follow other Christians; and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things that He will not let you do. Other Christians and ministers who seem very religious and useful may push themselves, pull wires and work schemes to carry out their schemes, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent. Other may brag on themselves, on their work, on their success on their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing. ; and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

"Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, but it is likely that God will keep you poor, because He wants you to have something far better than gold, and that is a helpless dependence upon Him, that He may have the privilege (the right) of supplying your needs day by day out of an unseen treasury. The Lord will let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hidden away in obscurity, because He wants some choice fragrant fruit for His coming glory which can only be produced in the shade. He will let others do a work for Him and get the credit for it, but He will let you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.

"The Holy Spirit will put a watch over you, with a jealous love and will rebuke you for a little words or feelings or for wasting your time, over which other Christians never seem distressed. So make up your minds that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has the right to do as He pleases with His own, and He may not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason in his dealings with you. He will take you at your word and if you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love and let other people say and do many things which He will not let you say or do.

Settle it forever that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that He does not deal with others. Now when you are so possessed witht he Living God, that you are in your secret heart pleased and delighted over the peculiar, personal, private, jealous, guardianship of the Holy Spirit, over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven.

Hot dogs

2010-06-10T23:25:00.000-07:00

So for whatever reason we really sold a lot of hot dogs today. And something that I realized is that when I go to grab the hot dogs for them I say "let me grab your hot dog" or even worse "let me grab your sausage." I have yet to hear a complaint, but just to make things less suggestive, I've been trying to say "let me get THE hot dog." I think it sounds better that way.

The Old Man, and the JW

2010-06-09T00:05:00.000-07:00

So this was strange, so strange in fact that I thought that I should write a post about it.

Donna and I went to Starbucks yesterday, it's something we do usually about twice a month to just hang out, talk about what the Lord has been showing us, and even at times go over a Bible passage together.

Anyway at one point in our time together, we started talking about a certain passage in Romans 3, and all of the sudden a man just randomly yells "shalom" at us. He was an old man, probably in his 70s, with one of those Amish beards that was all white. I looked at him, and say "shalom" back and then got back to my discussion with Donna. The man then proceeded to walk up to us and proudly show Donna and I his badge that read "Support for Israel, Sarah Palin."
"OK" I said politely, not entirely sure whether he was Jewish, or what I should say. Before I could say anything, the Old man asked me what version of the bible I was reading, and I said the NKJV. "Oh I don't believe any of that, I only use the King James."
"Oh" I said, "Well the New King James is pretty similar." And it was at that point it began, while I tried to keep things as civil as possible, I was unaware that I was at that point entering into a debate about whether or not the King James was the way to go.
Now to spare you that debate, let's just say things were going alright, I thought, until he said "Well, I don't believe that Jesus was God, or in the Trinity." I at that point realized that that man had bigger problems, so I just tried to drop it.
He then began to accuse Donna and I as "Trinitarians," of being what is wrong with this country. He said that people like us who hold to these narrow views such as the validity of scripture and Jesus being the only way, are keeping this country from uniting, and it is not until people like us cease to exist that we will ever be able to find peace.
He then asked if we had kids, we said no, and he then said "Don't, if you do they will already be doomed." After mumbling to Donna something about staying in her cubby, he and his wife left.

Right as he left, a young man who was "Jehovah's Witness" hearing us say that Jesus was God, came up to us, and then tried to debate or convert us or something, and also another man randomly came up and threw his two cents in, until he realized that he really didn't know what he was talking about, and then soon left. I was able to give out verses, that I hope made sense, but he just ignored my points.

Now I tried not to be argumentative, and I was hoping to at least get the people to think. But I really don't know if any of this did any good. So I will pray for these people.

Anyway, there are two morals to this story, first off, don't make it a point to debate people like that, we can't convince them to come to Christ, all we can do is hopefully make them think. The Holy Spirit will have to do the rest. Debating only leads to arguments, and argument rarely lead to people coming to a knowledge of the truth.
The second point is this though, often Christians are ignorant. They don't know the Bible, and they don't know why they believe what they believe. How then can you come up with things to make them think if you don't even know what you think yourselves.

Missing school already.

2010-06-08T23:49:00.001-07:00

I have realized something about myself lately. When I am not doing something that really challenges me, or makes me step out, I find that I fall into what I like to call "the funk." It's a time in which I mentally kind of just shut off, and go for a while just existing. I find that this has really happened to me pretty much every summer of my life as far back as I can remember, with the exception of the last couple of years.
With school being over and work being just a pay check, I can feel this mindset creeping up on me. In the past I didn't really mind this time. But now even thinking about it makes me feel discontent. Honestly I wish that God has just given Donna and I that internship so that I could be doing something. But I know that this is God's doing keeping us here. I know that He is showing me patterns in my life that are really quite selfish, or just plain sinful.
I can see Him allowing me to do things that were great in the past (such as playing video games for an entire afternoon) that I now find empty. He's shaking up my status quo, but in a way in which nothing around me seems to be changing and in many ways I am dreading every minute of it. I can feel that this is either going to be a time of great growth in the Lord, or a time of great Spiritual emptiness, and that it is all going to depend on how I am going to respond. I earnestly pray that I don't go the path of least resistance, and find myself like I have many summers before just existing.

"Jesus Shirt"

2010-05-06T10:53:00.000-07:00

So at work I am allowed to wear whatever shirt I want as long as it is red, so the other day I decided to wear my red "Jesus saves" shirt. Anyway that day at work I rang this one dude up that works at target with me, and I apparently gave him 5 dollars extra change. Which he later returned.
Yesterday he came up to me and told me that he originally wasn't going to return the money, but because he saw my "Jesus shirt" he said he felt guilty about it and gave the money back. But then said I owed him 5 bucks.
I just smiled and he walked away. (Donna told me I should have told him to take it up with Jesus that would have been funny).

It's interesting how that worked.

I got an A on my Greek Mid-term btw.

It's about time.

2010-04-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

So today was a long day at work. Working behind the food counter at Target can be quite stressful. It's funny how rude people can get when it comes to food. They can wait 20 minutes in line to purchase a plunger. But if they have to wait more than 5 minutes for a pizza they freak out... But anyway I digress, I am blessed to be working right now and I am glad that I am.

Funny story, I was sitting on the couch, and I realized that I had not got the mail yet. So, I stood up and opened the door. As the cool breeze passed around my body I realized that I was standing there in my underwear... No one saw as far as I know, but that could have got awkward fast. There wasn't even any mail.

Anyway, I have never considered myself to be an early bird. My idea of getting up early is waking up at 9. I am also not very disciplined. As I look back, there are plenty of things that I began, but of all of those things I'd say I've finished maybe 20 percent of them. I look at my book shelf which is full of books that are half read.
For the school of ministry I have to wake up at 6 on Mon-Fri, so that I can be sure to get to school by 7. Up until now I have made it a point to get up as late as possible and wait to do my devotions until later. Or at least that is what I've told myself. Later, with the busy-ness of the day soon becomes never.
So, in order to discipline myself, as well as spend time with my loving Father who is SOO good to me, I've decided to get up at 5 every morning and do my devos then. It has been really good so far, and I am going to have to discipline myself in order to keep doing it. Because I don't want to listen to "sleep Aaron" who in my groggy state is probably one of the best debaters I have ever heard, and I know that he will use what I like to call "early morning logic" to get me to just sleep.

I don't blog much, I think part of the reason is that most of the blogs that I feel like typing are indictments against things going on in the church, or complaints about various other things, and really I doubt you want to read that, though you did read my complaint about work, but that's beside the point. Donna gets enough of it here at home, she doesn't need to read about it :)

Anyway, I am procrastinating. I have a Greek midterm this Monday, and I am really tired of studying for it. But I probably should. You all have a blessed day. I have more I wanted to say but for now this'll have to do for now.

It's funny

2010-03-02T16:48:00.000-08:00

Donna always complains that all my blogs seem to be sad. For being quite the happy guy it sure seems like while I live in a comedy that I post as if I am in a drama. Personally, I am not generally a big fan of that genre because while some of them are really good, they are for the most part just depressing and who wants to be depressed right? But the reality is life is not all flowers and unicorns, which I am glad about because those things are lame.
That brings me really to what I wanted to talk about, not how lame unicorns are, (one horn? Pathetic.) but about life. Specifically mine, since I have a captive audience, or at least one who will read this until they get bored.

It's been almost six months since I moved here to Buena Park, and things have been crazy.

I've gone to an amazing school that has challenged me in the word in ways that I at times don't want to be challenged. I've got a hired and fired from a comic book store. I've been able to be married to an amazing woman who to be quite honest is probably too good for me (luckily she just doesn't know it). I've known what it feels like to stress about how I am going to afford to survive. I've even at one point had an allergic reaction to what Donna and I think was IB profin, which then caused me to break out into hives all over my body the same week as finals. I've known what it's like to be in ministry feeling completely incapable.

Yet, through all of this I've learned one simple truth. God is faithful. He has been so good to Donna and I, and as we've trusted Him, we've seen Him come through.

Some may be worried, some may freak out about the situations that inevitably occur, I know that I have had my moments, of depression, like you get when you watch a drama (wow I connected it to the beginning topic go me!). But all I know is that I feel closer to God than I've ever been, and He continues to show Himself faithful in my life.

Lost Dads

2010-02-05T22:24:00.001-08:00

Hey all,
With Lost back this season, I thought it would be a good time to look at this article from pluggedinonline.com. I liked it and it gave something to think about so if you watch Lost, you'll think it's probably pretty cool, if not well you'll like it anyway.

Lost Dads

Your plane crashes on an island. You're chased by a polar bear, haunted by a smoke monster and at war with an indigenous population. You're hurt. Scared. Lost.

Times like these might make many of us wish to be children again and long for our fathers—for someone to teach us how to survive, to frighten away all the bogeymen, to tell us why we must push the button every 108 minutes. To assure us everything's going to be OK.

Unless, of course, your father beat you. Or betrayed you. Or ran a crime syndicate. Or stole one of your kidneys.

Suddenly, those polar bears don't look so bad.

Who's Your Daddy?
Feb. 2 marks the beginning of the sixth and final season for ABC's landmark sci-fi drama Lost—much to the delight ("It's here!") and chagrin ("It's almost over!") of TV geeks everywhere. The labyrinthine program has become a byword for obsessive television viewing. Its creators have manufactured a bewildering mythology—so bewildering that after five seasons viewers aren't completely sure what the island even is. (Theories range from Eden to Limbo to a rejiggered Island of Misfit Toys.) Lost is a potpourri of engrossing characters, literary references, time-travel tropes and thought-provoking musings about the interplay of religion and science, of fate and free will, of good and evil and the gray in between.

But at its core, Lost is really about a subject near and dear to Plugged In's core: family. Strip away all the white rabbits and mysterious hatches, and you're left with an island full of sons and daughters, lost and hurting because their relationships with their parents—particularly their fathers—aren't all they should be.

"I think father issues are very much a part of the show," Lost producer Carlton Cuse said at Comic-Con 2006, according to Lostpedia. "Dramatically, that is something that we deal with extensively. And if you look at the characters on the show, a lot of the characters have 'daddy issues.'"

Where's Your Daddy?
Take Jack, the island's mostly heroic doctor. He spent much of his life trying to please his demanding surgeon dad, but he only succeeded in making Pops proud when Jack got him fired for being drunk on the job. Jack's father was so proud, in fact, that he flew to Australia, went on a massive bender and died—and now haunts both Jack and the island with frightening regularity.

Then there's Kate, Lost's pretty escaped felon. What did she do, you ask? Well, she killed her abusive, alcoholic father shortly after he made sexual advances on her.

Sawyer, the island's long-haired, nickname-spewing con man, watched his father kill himself after shooting Sawyer's mom. The trauma was so great that, instead of emulating his father, he followed the footsteps of the confidence man who slept with his mom, stole the family money and instigated his father's suicide.

But John Locke, perhaps, takes the cake in terms of father issues. Though he now strides around the island like a long-prophesied savior, Locke grew up never knowing his father. When Locke reached middle age, a man claiming to be his father steps into his life and tells him he's dying—unless he gets a kidney from someone. When Locke volunteers to donate his, "Pops" takes the kidney and runs, so to speak. Locke is abandoned yet again.

"You needed a father figure and I needed a kidney, and that's what happened," the man tells Locke. "Get over it. And John, don't come back. You're not wanted."

Locke comes back anyway—and for his trouble gets pushed out a seventh story window.

The list goes on, too. Ben and his abusive father. Sun and her domineering father. Claire doesn't even know her father (but we do). It's enough to make you wonder … are Lost's creators in need of some serious counseling?

Does Your Daddy Matter?
"Ironically, I had a fairly awesome (if not slightly complicated) relationship with my father," writer and producer Damon Lindelof tells Entertainment Weekly. "I suppose the fact that he died shortly before we began writing Lost had a great impact on where my head was at the time, but he was an amazing guy who is pretty much responsible for my love of all things storytelling-related. He never even tried to steal my kidney.

"That being said," Lindelof goes on, "I think, mythically speaking, all great heroes have massive daddy issues. Hercules. Oedipus, Luke Skywalker. Indiana Jones. Spider-Man. It all comes with the territory. We dig flawed characters on Lost, and a large part of being flawed is the emotional damage inflicted on you by your folks."

He's right, you know. Biblical characters have had some rocky times with their dads, too. Isaac was nearly sacrificed by his. Jacob and Esau had a pretty complex relation with theirs. Joseph's pop doted—perhaps too much—creating its own set of problems. And that's just Genesis.

Its flawed characters make Lost quite uncomfortable to watch at times. In addition to the typical problematic content we'd point out reviewing Lost—the violence, the swearing, the sexuality—viewers are confronted by lots of murky morality and very, very bad role models. Everyone on the island does things they regret (or should).

But the script, more often than not, suggests that their strengths and weaknesses are the product of how they were raised. And, so, all that negativity evokes a very positive—biblical—theme: That what you do as a parent matters. In a time when more and more children are raised in single-parent households, and in an environment where the role of a father in his children's lives is often minimized, Lost tells us something very true and very important: If fathers aren't around, or they're not paying attention, their children pay the price.

That echoes Scripture. Regarding idols, God told the Israelites in Exodus 20:5, "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me." The fathers of Jack, John, Sawyer and Kate didn't bow down to graven images, as the Bible puts it, but they sure erected their own personal idols to worship. And we sure see how their sin is passed down. It's a vicious cycle—one that God understands and takes care to warn us about.

Why? Because fathers are central to His plans. The most critical moment in Christianity, after all, involves the Father, the Son and the most revolutionary sacrifice ever. And fractious fatherly relationships can pull lots of threads out of the spiritual tapestry we're all part of.

"In my opinion there are only two important themes [in Lost]," writes Entertainment Weekly blogger Jeff Jensen: "1. Science vs. Religion (or Reason vs. Faith); and 2. The Failure of the Father Figure." Jensen argues that many characters—Jack, Locke and others—are themselves surrogate father figures for the island's frequently disoriented inhabitants, and I buy it. Jack and Locke, in the midst of their own quests for purpose and redemption, must also help lead and guide the islanders who follow them. (It's no accident, I think, that Jack's last name is "Shephard.") And there's a sense that, if they somehow succeed—if they do what they're "meant" to do—the sins and scars their fathers etched on their souls, along with those of their own making, will be somehow wiped clean.

These sins are not necessarily forgiven, mind you, in the Christian sense. Rather, the show simply acknowledges that families—as messy as they can be—are critical components of who and what we are. And it also suggests that, even if our childhoods weren't perfect, we have it within our power to do better, to be better.

"Lost … isn't about burying the past," writes Jensen, "but finding the grace to live with it."

Looking Back

2010-01-17T16:02:00.001-08:00

Things in life are crazy right now, and I know that I need to give an update.

This here is a flashback, to the summer before I met Donna. I had a write a testimony for my Spiritual Formation class, so here is the rough draft. I so much enjoyed writing it that I decided before I went back and focused so much on the grammar, which would get annoying, to just post this right now. Let it encourage you, like recounting it encouraged me.

An Example Of God’s Provision

It was In England that I met my wife and God really began to give me direction to where He wanted me to go with my life. However, I almost wasn’t able to go there, and had it not been for the grace of God I would not have been able to meet my wonderful wife Donna.
See, I was living in Germany at the time, with my family near a military base, it was the summer before my last semester of bible college, and I was really counting down the days until I could go back to England to graduate. That summer was hard on me, being in a military community, all my Christian friends that I had the summer before had moved away, and the church that my family was going to lacked any kind of depth in it’s sermon content. So needless to say, I was very excited to back to good old York England for my last semester.
About a month before I was to head over there, I received an e-mail that essentially said that due to various new visa restrictions, I had to go to an English Embassy and get a student visa, or I would not be able to go to the school that semester. So with my plane ticket already paid for, and my heart longing to be back in the UK, my Dad and I started the process of making an appointment to going to the nearest English Embassy, which was about 200 miles away from where I was living.
Now the appointments booked fast, but I was blessed enough to find one that was a week and a half before I had to leave, so we got all my information together, and we headed to Muchengladbach, to get a visa stamped into my passport. After driving about 3.5 hours we finally arrived at the embassy, so my Dad and I got in line and waited. Right before it was my turn I was told to get my passport ready, so I look in the folder, and to my horror, it wasn’t in there. I quickly ran back to the van, and it was not to be found. Without my passport, there was nothing that I could do so I sadly, and fearfully, (knowing that my Mom was going to have a cow) went back to the house, and found the passport on the ground there, it had apparently fallen out of the folder when we were walking to the van.
At this point, I was crushed, I could have sworn that the Lord wanted me in England, I felt the call, and I knew. Yet at this point, I had no idea how I was going to get in. My Mom came up with a bunch of plans, saying how I could go to the Bible college in Germany for the last semester and things like that, but my heart longed for England.
So at this point my Mom said, “Aaron look at it this way, you already bought your plane ticket, just get on the plane and if God wants you to go to York, you’ll get in no problem, and if He does not want you in York, well you shouldn’t be there anyway.”
She had a good point, I mean what could I lose, except possibly an opportunity to see God completely circumvent a legal system in order to get His will done in my life. So, that week my parents drove me to the airport, and after praying for the Lord’s will to be done, I departed from them and got on the plane.
On the way there I was nervous, what if I had to get sent back, would I have to pay for that myself? Would they interrogate me? Strip search me? The possibilities were endless, and so was my imagination. But about half way there, I started to feel peace with my decision. Somehow I knew that I was doing what He wanted of me, and so that caused me to relax, because I knew that if I was in His will, He was the one who would take care of it.
So I sat back, and talked to the man next to me, who was apparently a language expert, and after telling him I was going to the Bible College in York, he started grilling me on my knowledge of the beauty of the Hebrew language, (a topic I still honestly know little or nothing about sadly) but needless to say, that conversation was probably a bit one-sided.
Now upon arriving in England my heart started beating fast, my brow became sweaty, this was the moment of truth. A part of my half expected a security team to meet me at the door of the plane, and by force lead me away. But there was no security, only a surprisingly genuinely nice flight attendant who had displayed much patience during the flight.
After getting off the plane, I went to customs, and upon looking at my passport, the man asked me with furrowed eyebrows “Why are you here in England?” I briefly explained to him how I was going to be going to the Bible College in York, and with that he stamped my passport and let me through. At that point overwhelming joy overtook my heart, while I was not technically allowed to set foot in the UK, God had somehow allowed me in.
I was light as a feather, as I sang praises to God all the way to baggage claim! It is that semester that the Lord taught me much about leadership, and also allowed me to meet the woman that I had been waiting for all my life. But it all came back to God through His divine power, providing for me a way to get into England.

My Christmas

2009-12-28T17:25:00.000-08:00

This past Friday Donna and I celebrated our first Christmas as a married couple, and we did so at her parents house. We got there on Wednesday night, and met our friends at Bret and Heather's place, and we had a good time just catching up with our friends. We got back to Donna's folks house quite late and pretty much just immediately went to sleep.

The next day was Christmas Eve, and we spent most of that day playing on her parents Wii, and then went to church that night. While we loved seeing all the people we knew there, and were happy to be back at good old Pathways, a part of me couldn't help but miss going to the church that we are going to currently here in Buena Park. I just feel a connection there, and I'm pretty sure that Donna feels the same way.

Anyway, after church we came home, and just sat on the couches and hung out until about 10, and as the tradition went there in the Blaisdell House we watched a Muppet Christmas Carol, though some of us watched more than others (a.k.a. Donna fell asleep within the first 20 minutes.

Now as an outsider being brought in, Christmas is definately a different thing there. With my family we sleep in, and then open a few gifts in the morning. And then open more gifts in the afternoon and then some in the evening. We spread things out. This is completely different from Donna's tradition. There, everyone gets awakened at an early hour (7am) by Donna, and then once everyone comes in the living room they all open up all their presents at once.

Now there is something to be said for both traditions (except maybe the getting up at 7 part) it is on one hand nice to spread the gifts out throughout the entire day, but on the other hand it is also nice to just get it all out in the open so that you can have the whole day to use what you got, so neither is better... but I lean towards wanting to do it the way that I have always done it (doing it that way for 24 previous Christmas's made me biased)

As for the gift getting department, I really made out like a bandit, everyone did so well this year. I got pretty much everything that I wanted, and more (J and Les got us a Wii! Yipee)

That afternoon, I got to have a nice chat with my family over skype (that is an amazing program) and then Donna, Jo, Chris, and I beat the Raving Rabbid's game on their parents Wii.

Later that afternoon we had a huge ham dinner which I think my waist might be feeling now. It was delicious. I pretty much immediately after dinner fell into a Christmas dinner coma, and slept for about an hour while most of the others watched a movie.

That night, Donna and I went over to Brock's and then carpooled over to the movie theater to see Sherlock Holmes. Let me tell you that movie was fantastic. I loved pretty much everything about it and I honestly would recommend it to pretty much anyone.

We came home the next morning, and had to get back to the daily grind of work. It's nice though having the break from class. While I enjoy it a lot, it is nice not having to go to school every single morning.

Yesterday, the 27th of December, Donna and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary. We did so by going to work, and then when I got home cleaning our apartment, and then cooking Donna dinner, quickly followed by both of us going to bed at around 9:30 and sleeping till almost 10 the next morning... Exciting stuff I'm sure.

Anyway, with the New Year coming up this Friday, I guess I should start reflecting on my year, a year in review, if you will. With everything that has gone on for me, and for Donna, it would be good to look back.

Anyway I hope everyone's Christmas was amazing! and that as we continue to ponder God's remedy for our failings, that we would truly continue, not in the "Spirit of Christmas" whatever that is, but instead we would continue in God's Spirit, allowing Him to lead our lives so that we too can express the love and generosity that God first expressed to us first in a manger and ultimately though Calvary.

Money

2009-11-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

Money is probably the number 1 thing that I worry about. I know that I am to be anxious for nothing, but I find that there are definitely times when I cant help but begin to worry about our financial situation. Last night I was laying in bed a bit worried about our finances, and when I fell asleep I had a dream. I was at my house in Ga, and I only had a roll of penny's to my name. I complained how I didn't have enough money for anything, and out of frustration, I grabbed one of the penny's, and threw it at the wall, and when it bounced back it was a nickel. I threw it again and it came back as a dime, and then a quarter, a 50 cent piece, and then finally one of those gold dollars. And it was then that I realized that God was providing for me, there were scoffers saying that somehow the money was already up there and I was just knocking it loose, and that it wasn't a miracle, but I knew that it was, that He was changing my meager circumstances and transform it into something great. It was later this morning that I was reminded of the story in Matthew 17 in which Jesus told Peter to go fish, and when he caught the fish it was the exact amount that he and Jesus needed to pay their taxes, and it caused me to both realize that our God is very good to us, and that if God Is more than able to provide. If He can cause a fish to swallow enough for the taxes for the both of them, the He is more than able to provide for our meager existence. Our God is good!

And then it gets rough.

2009-10-22T16:48:00.000-07:00

Anyway, so I have a new layout, I got tired of my old one, and I figured it was time for a change... I hope you like it, I know I do.

So this week has been hard. On Saturday night I got sick, and I got worse. On Monday I went to class, and I was so sick that I went home after my first class and slept, but because it was my second day, I still went to work. And then on Wednesday Donna caught my illness. My mom thinks it was the swine flu, but because I didn't grow a curly tail, and have an intense desire to roll in the mud (at least any more than usual) I think it might have just been the regular flu. I'm finally feeling not dead, and I think Donna is feeling much better as well.

Yesterday, when driving to class, my car started to sputter, and eventually died. Praise the Lord that it died right by a mechanic, which was also in walking distance from where I live, so I was able to drop it off there and walk home. Long story short, it cost 425 to repair and it still needs more maintenance done to it, but it at least drives...

So, all that to say that this week was rough. But God was good, and kept us alive and going, even when in my tiredness and frustration, I began to doubt Him. Thank you Lord for providing for us, and keeping us safe. Please continue to do so.

Anyway, something else I noticed is that I lack discipline. Especially when it comes to the areas of daily devotion and prayer . Now I know that this is something a lot of people struggle with, but I'm seeing all the more now how much I NEED it. While this is of course obvious to any believer, it has really been hitting me hard lately.

It all started the other day when Donna was at Starbucks, and, long story short a man walked by her and and said "I just wanted to say, that I felt lead to tell you that God cherishes His time with you." When she told me that story, I could just hear God say to me, "I cherish my time with you too." And I realized that I do not spend enough time with Him.

Now you'd think that that would have changed my heart and I am now spending hours upon hours with Him. But the truth is, while for that day, things may have been better, I got preoccupied with other things, and next thing you know I realize that I have not spent time with God in over a week. Sure I go to class and learn about the Word, sure I may go to church and worship and hear a good sermon, but how much time have I spent before the Throne of Grace myself? Little.

And when I do come to Him it's usually because I have a problem, or because I feel guilted into it. And I hate that.
Yet this has been a consistent pattern in my life...

Now, I'm not entirely sure how, but this has got to change. Because God is way too important not to be the number 1 priority in my life.

My life, or something like it.

2009-10-16T16:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I know it has been a while since I last updated this thing, and that's just because life has become really busy as of late, which kind of stinks, because it causes me to realize just undisciplined I am. It also makes me feel frazzled.

To start off the apartment is cool, and it is really finally starting to feel like home. We have pretty much got everything put away, which is nice. We just need to figure out what to put on the walls and we'll be completely here. I gave my Dad the virtual tour via skype, it's nice here.

School is alright, the classes are alright, but I've found this past week at least, that I really had the wrong motivation when it came to homework, I've been doing it just to get it done, but not with the type of introspective thought that should be going into it. Plus, I've found that I'm trying to just show everyone how smart I am. Which sadly is working, people have been complimenting me on it, but that's just a pride issue. I should be there to learn not to show off. On the bright side since I recognized these things I can change.
I will say though that it has been good. The teachers really love Jesus, and I can tell that through talking to them, and seeing them, and I know that there is a lot that I can learn from them.
The latest news, I got a job at a comic book store! It was cool, I had been looking around for a job, and I asked the guy if they were hiring and he said that he was quitting within the next week, and told me to turn in an application, so I went and applied on Wednesday and the owner told me that while that store wasn't hiring, the other one he owed down the road was. So after a 30 minute interview about which comics I read, and how reliable I am, I got the job provided I could find the other store.
So I did and I the people there were really awesome. I've only been there for a little while, but I think I'll be liking it.

So, anyway, if you are reading this, I probably miss you. I hope that things are going well.

2 weeks till my birthday!

-Aaron

Quick update

2009-10-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
I was reading my past blog, and I realized that that was probably a bad one to have as the last blog up at the time. While it was an honest representation of what I was feeling at that time... I'm doing better.
Anyway, I will hopefully have a new post up soon, I've been super busy with school, being married, and life. But expect a new post soon.
Aaron

Much prayer wanted

2009-09-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

Well school started last thursday, and I am now about halfway through my first week there. Donna and I are still in the process of moving into our apartment, and we are excited that we finally got internet in this place.

But meanwhile, things between me and the Lord don't seem as fine. Lately, I've been feeling like He's disappointed in me, and I've been also feeling sometimes almost overwhelming feelings of fear, and worry, about class, about finances, about time management, and to top it off, I have been feeling spiritually inadequate when it comes to the school of ministry.
I talk to the guys, and they all have ministries they are all involved in, and they just seem to be on a spiritual level way past me, which makes it very hard to try to relate to. and I just feel... frustrated I guess. and I hate it, I'm supposed to be the one who is encouraging Donna, but I find that she more often is the one who has to encourage me. I just feel like a shadow has descended upon me.

Now I know that to some degree that this is a spiritual attack, and also to some degree it is just because I feel uncomfortable. But I just need that peace that comes from the Lord, I need His guidance, and I need His strength. So if you all could pray for me about that that would be awesome.

Now one of my favorite titles of God is redeemer. How He takes what is broken down, that which is messy and worthless to many people, and how He takes it and makes something new, and beautiful out of it. God I pray that you do that. Redeem this time, use even this time of trial and make something beautiful out of it. I do not want to spend this time being a mopey sourpuss. So God take this time, and make something out of it. Something that glorifies you.

Sorry if this post was a bit down. But being able to write this out actually helped me to process this stuff a lot quicker and better.

Prayer

2009-09-02T23:12:00.000-07:00

It's only 2 weeks before the School of ministry begins, and we still do not have an apartment, or any form of gainful employment. And this is frustrating me to no end, I know that God wants me here, I know that He wants me to be going go the school of ministry, yet He still has not given me what I need to be able to survive there, and I hate that.

I hear about those stories of God coming in at the last minute and providing everything that people need, and I am hoping that that will be the case with us as well. But what if I read the signals wrong? What if I am not called to go to Costa Mesa, what then? I have placed all my attention on this one thing because I felt that that is where the Lord is leading me, and I really have no backup plan. So if you could pray for me and Donna right now about that that would be great, you can read the rest of my blog when you are done, it'll still be here.

Lately, because of this situation, I have been praying a lot. However, something that Donna mentioned to me in passing really made me think. Where has my prayer focus been lately? Prayer is supposed to be communication between me and God, however, I believe that I have begun to mess that idea up.
See, as of late, my prayers consist primarily of me asking God for things, like a job, or an apartment, or peace, or many other things. Now praying for these things are not bad. But, my prayer life has switched from spending time talking with and getting to know God, to that of a boy only talking to his Father so that he can get something. I'm reminded of the movie "Fools Gold" (The movie was ok, not really worth seeing). Now in that movie, we have a rich father, whose relationship with his daughter essentially revolves around her asking her dad for things, and then him giving them to her.
That's not what God wants, and that is not what I want. Paul commands us in 1 Thessalonians 5 to pray without ceasing. While this shows us how our attitude should be, one of constant communication with our Lord, it also shows us God's heart in that He wants to be a part of every activity. He wants to be intimately involved with every activity, and sadly instead I mostly only come to Him when I need money.

It is so good to hear when God tells me these things. So now as I pray I'm not just going to give God my list of things I need, but instead meditate on Him, and His Word, and spend time in Koininia with Him.

Costa Mesa, The Aspens, and more!

2009-08-05T15:28:00.000-07:00

Well, just yesterday Donna and I got back from visiting Costa Mesa, and let me tell you it was pretty interesting. Sunday we went to Chuck Smith's church (which you can read about by going to Donna's blog which is right there on the right hand side of this page marked "Donna Lovie.") The next day Donna and I spent most of the day looking at apartments, and it began to get frustrating, most of the places we looked were too expensive, and it was hot outside. So, being tired and warm, Donna and I began to grouch at each other, Donna would complain about my driving, I would complain that she needs to quit nagging me... it was a whole deal. Around this time, I had us stop, and we prayed, about the apartment situation, and about our attitudes, just giving them up to the Lord, and asking Him for wisdom.
It was then, that we discovered the most amazing apartments in existence. The Apartments were known as the Aspens, and the atmosphere there was amazing, it was close to the school, and at a price that we could afford, 1 bedroom, 1 bath, gated community, with 4 swimming pools. It was amazing. This all leads back to really what I wanted to briefly talk about.

That night, as Donna was sleeping, I became filled with doubts. I was attacked with questions and statements going anywhere from "How are you going to afford to live, here? Where are you going to get a job?" "All this stuff is too big of a hassle. This calling to ministry is for other people who have more faith, just go back to San Diego, and get a job in construction or something." to "With both of you having to work, you'll never see each other and Donna will eventually leave you for someone who will be able to give her quality time." All of these I knew weren't from God, but I just felt overwhelmed by this attack.

I was freaking out. So I got up, and meditated on the Word. God gave me two passages that really encouraged me. Matthew 7:7-11, and 1 Timothy 6:17.

Through the Matthew Passage, I was reminded that God is good, all His gifts are good, and He loves giving gifts to His children when we ask him for them. So often I subconsciously think that God gives, but only the bare minimum, or gives gifts that are good for me, but not something that I want. Like getting socks for your birthday from your grandparents when you really wanted a transformer.
-This passage reminded me though, that God loves giving gifts to his children, and that I shouldn't expect the gifts God gives to me to suck.

In the other passage, Paul commands that those who are rich to not put their trust in their riches, but instead in Him who gives us all thing.
My fears, were based on the fact that I was trying to do just that. I was trying to figure out a way to get enough riches to be able to afford everything, and it was bringing me to a point of despair. While I am in no way rich, I was trying to trust my own abilities, my own schemes, as a way to figure out how to survive, instead of trusting in the God who is able to do more than we can ask or think.

Really my issue came down to my lack of faith in the Lord, I said that I trusted Him, but the reality is my attitude proved otherwise. So that night I wrote out all my doubts and fears onto a piece of paper, and like Hezekiah in 2 Kings 19, I spread this piece of paper out before the Lord. It was at that point that I truly through much prayer and tears, that I finally gave it all over to my Jesus. And like Philippians 4:6-7 said, the peace of God which transcends all understanding began to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Where there was once fear there was now joy, where there was dread there was now excitement.

Now I don't know how this is going to work out, where we are going to live, or where we are going to work. But like a kid who is moving away, not entirely sure where he's going. I trust that my Dad will handle all the details.

My 1st post as a married man!

2009-07-10T17:11:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's my first blog as a married man. How exciting.
Well I guess I should be talking about the wedding, but to be honest, it was kind of a blur. I'm sure once I see the pictures I will remember everything. All I really remember was seeing Donna in that dress for the first time... To be quite honest it blew me away. She looked beautiful. I'm sure I was smiling from ear to ear, interestingly enough it wasn't until that moment that it truly hit me that I was going to marry this woman, and that gave me joy.

The honeymoon was amazing! Donna and I got a 3 day pass to Disneyland, and it was nice being able to just go to the park at our leisure. The weather was great, and the lines were not very long at all. In fact Donna and I talked about it, and we don't think that we waited longer than 20 minutes for any ride.
The hotel we stayed at was also pretty nice as well, and we got an awesome deal, we stayed in the travelodge, which was within walking distance to the park, and because we reserved the rooms early, the hotel was only $55, a night which was an amazing deal, especially for that area.
It's nice being back in San Diego, but now that we are married, Donna and I both feel the urge to go off on our own. It's really true what the Bible says about the man leaving his parents and being joined to his wife, we are ready to completely leave the "child stage" and enter into a whole new stage of life. That's not to say that I don't love Donna's folks, because I do, they are amazing, but it's time to have us go out and stand on our own two feet (With the Lord's help)

As many of you probably know, Donna and I both have jobs right now which is nice, Donna is working for the San Diego School board, as a secretary, and I am working with the Santee School district as a Substitute for Project Safe, an after school/summer program. It's nice to be working, but I wish that I had more hours, I only worked 2 days this week, because they didn't need any subs. So I am looking for another part time job which will bring in more money.

We are both really looking forward to going off to the School of Ministry this Fall, but if you all would keep us in your prayers that would be great, just that the Lord would help us find an affordable apartment, and good jobs.

The calm before the storm

2009-06-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

This week there is stuff that needs to be done, but life has definitely slowed down, which is nice. It's hard to believe that in about 11 days I am going to be a married man. I'm not really nervous about it at all except to say that at that point I HAVE to be the leader, and I'm going to need also to be providing for her. So while I'm am super excited to be getting married, being the husband that Donna needs is not something that comes naturally.

Camp, coyote hunting, and being a man

2009-05-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

So as I posted in my last blog, last week I went to camp. It was definitely an interesting experience. The camp had 3 Catholic private schools 6th graders come for the week for "educational fun." Where the kids basically had to sit around, in class, and learn about living in the wild instead of actually going out and learning out in nature which I thought was kind of lame, but I tried to make sure that my guys had fun.
Overall the week was pretty fun though, my friends Lucas and Ed were there, and so we were able to hang out while the kids were in class, and talk about everything that was going on in out lives, women, and theology which I loved.
My kids were pretty good too, while they were talkers, they were respectful to me in that when I told them to do something they listened. Which was nice!
M biggest problem with the camp was that because it was a Catholic week, we were not to talk to them about anything that was contrary to the Catholic faith. Which, to be honest, I didn't follow. When my kids said things like, Mary is going to come with Jesus to Redeem humanity (granted it was in 6th grade vernacular) I had to set them strait biblically. But for the most part this was not really an issue.

On the last night, at about 11pm, Lucas comes running into my cabin, and tells me that they caught a wolf in this one kitchen area. So I hopped out of bed and went with him to go check it out. We soon found out though, that there were no wolves in the area and that what they caught was most likely a coyote. So armed with a broom and a couple of rakes, Ed, Lucas and I went to slay this ravenous beast. However when we got there we found nothing but a trash can that had been tipped over. The coyote had escaped.
At this point Lucas told Ed and I that he had always want to hunt a coyote, so we, armed with now 3 rakes and a flashlight, went out in search of coyote. After searching for about a half hour however, we began to realize that it was probably gone, and also that coyotes usually run in packs, so with the thought of having to kill an entire pack was not anywhere near as appealing.

While at camp, I listened to a sermon series on my iPod entitled "Biblical Manliness." The premise of the series is that society today is stripping men of biblical masculinity, and replacing it with either a wrong view, with men being confused, sex crazed, idiotic, hotheads, or with the view that masculinity is wrong.

Both of these views though are a slap in the face of biblical masculinity. But we as men need to return to the idea of defending women's honor instead of making them out to just be objects, we need to be willing to lead others even when it goes against what society says is okay, and we need to remember that there are times that it is not only right, but also necessary to fight. Men are not the same as women, God created us differently, and we need to celebrate that difference, and honor God with it.

Going off to camp

2009-05-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

So it was definitely a spur of the moment thing, but I am going off today to go to a camp for the week to be a counselor. This is going to be the longest time I've been apart from Donna. So I am probably going to miss her, but I think that tis is going to be good for us. If you all want to pray for me that'll be cool. I'll tell you all about the camp when I get back.
-Aaron

Random thoughts

2009-05-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

The thought just occurred to me. I am marrying my best friend. Donna is the one who I talk to about everything, she is the one who I spend most of my time with, and she is the one who will always have my back, and I will always have hers.

It's weird too because I have never felt this close to anyone. I feel vulnerable, yet at the same time I feel at peace. I am excited to be marrying her.

Did Adam and Eve have navels? If not, did Cain and Abel look at theirs and think that they were made wrong?

Like Donna said in her blog I too am in that weird place, in between being married and being allowed to think about sex, and being single and not being allowed to.

I think it's even worse for the Christian guy though. Because if a girl talks about it, then she is just "looking forward to the intimacy of her wedding night." However, it seems like if a guy talks about it, he is "a perv who only has one thing on his mind." So instead of having an honest discussion with the other men about sex, we just tend not to say anything.
But I think that this is a disservice to us men. God created sex, both for procreation and marital recreation, so why does it seem so wrong to talk about it in a honest and God pleasing manner?

So last Friday I dislocated my shoulder, which hurt let me tell you, but I didn't go to the doctor for it, since I don't have health insurance, and so now almost a week later, it still hurts if I move it in certain directions. I hope it heals up soon there is a lot of painting and other work that needs to get done pronto stat.

The wedding is drawing near!

2009-04-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

Today it is officially 2 months till we are getting married. Awesome!
There is still so much that needs to be done though, things like invitations, or painting rooms are more time consuming than I would like to confess. So we'll see how that goes.

In other news, I still have not heard from the School of Ministry, so in some regard I am in limbo, at least when it comes to what we are going to be doing next. I guess I need to lift this up, even more, in prayer.

What to do...

2009-03-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm at a point where I am in need of making decisions, the biggest one of course is what to do after the wedding. I am blessed with the knowledge that I have a wonderful woman who has told me "I trust that you are listening to God, and so I will follow you wherever God is calling you to go." However, the place where I feel He is calling me is going to really cause us both to have to step out in faith.

We don't have the money to do anything, yet at the same time I am beginning to feel like that doesn't matter... I just wish that I knew for certain that taking this next big step was of God. I am just afraid that I am just doing something of myself, and because of this I'll fail.

Is it wrong to go out with nothing but the knowledge that that is where God wants you to be? Is it wrong to leave the security of everything, and in faith jump headfirst into the unknown?

Lord, give me your wisdom in this.

It ain't easy.

2009-03-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

It came to my attention last night that I was expecting going off into full-time ministry would be easy. Yet last night God told me that if I want the easy life, then I am not pursuing the right career path. I need to be the type that is willing to do the hard stuff. Someone who is willing to stick to it, even when the going gets tough. I've been reading through the book of Acts, and specifically the ministry of Paul, and I'm beginning to realize that a life for Christ is not for the weak of heart, it is not easy, yet there is nothing more fulfilling than a life that is seeking to diligently seek Him.

So I wrote in the bible, "may I never seek the easy way out, but instead be seeking the jobs that require work."

On another note, a few weeks back, I talked and prayed with a man named Keith Kelley. He was living on the streets, and was just trying to get his life back together. He recently got a job at the sweet factory, a little booth that sold candy, and so I went to visit him today.

It turns out that since I last talked to him, the Lord has given him a place to stay, a second job as a mechanic, has made it a point to completely stay away from alcohol, and is making it a point to take some responsibility for his life which is amazing!

When I heard this, I was filled with joy, the fact that the Lord is doing these great things in his life. I just pray, and hope that you all pray too, that he will make it a point to really be seeking the Lord, and that he would stay away from the things that tempted him in the past, like drugs and alcohol.

This good day!

2009-03-06T23:39:00.000-08:00

I find it amazing how God just throws people into my life to say things to me right when I need them, and also sends us people into our lives also to help.

Today I was feeling, like I have been for the past few weeks, pretty frustrated. With others constantly telling me what I should do next, I would try things, yet every time I would try something it would fall through, I found myself just feeling completely... frustrated.

So today at Starbucks, Donna and I went to Starbucks, and just were sitting on the couch, just talking about the situation. It is there that I realized that one of the biggest issues I had was the fact that I didn't want to begin to pursue something that wasn't the Lord's will for me, yet at the same time I couldn't figure out what that will was for my life.

While there, a lady walks in with her baby, and somehow we started talking to her. She turned out to be a believer, and we had a good talk. During the conversation the lady gave me a verse, Proverbs 16:9 which says "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." This verse really spoke to me, because while I am making plans and stuff, I'm afraid of failure, so because of this I'm afraid to step out, and in doing so fail. But through this verse, God really said to me, "If you are earnestly seeking me, then as you go out, I will direct your path." That was really cool!

Then later that night, Donna and I went to the "Dinner and a movie" at Pathways. While there, we met this young married couple, Jack and Lindsi. It was pretty awesome being able to just talk with them, and minister to them about the Lord.

Overall it was good day being able to minister to people is what I want to spend the rest of my life doing, and while my situation right now isn't any different, I am learning that as I step out for Christ, He will handle everything.

Yup

2009-02-08T15:31:00.000-08:00

So it's been a long time since I've posted a new blog, and I'm planning to write a long one soon. This blog is really to let everyone know that I am still alive and well.
I'm teaching tonight which should be pretty fun hopefully.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T06:09:00.000-08:00

It's 2009! This is going to be a big year, this year I will get married! In fact our wedding is less then 6 months away, that is amazing!

Happy New years everyone, I hope it finds you blessed, content, and filled with all the richness of God's grace.

Hmm

2008-12-31T12:56:00.001-08:00

After a wrote that blog last night I began to realize how much I myself am messing up. I call myself a Christian, someone who is supposed to be an example for Christ to the world, yet all I was doing was being that stereotypical judgmental Christian. The thing is, my family members are not walking with God for a reason, and they all have a reason for trying to be so macho, so really my mindset, and really my focus in general, should not be one of superiority but one of love.
I have failed to do that as of late, but when God brings something like this to my attention, it is mandatory that I do something about it. So I am.

Visiting family

2008-12-30T20:12:00.000-08:00

So the realization just came to me, that most of my extended family, is quite annoying. A lot of the guys here are trying to impress, or make themselves seem like such awesome people, and they do so by bragging about how they drink, steal, or about the various women they are in contact with. Now Donna and I both like my family, she loves my brothers, sister and my parents, but she, like me, are kind of tired of the rest of the guys here.

But at the same time they are family, so while they may drive me crazy, I'm stuck with them.

Anyway, Christmas was awesome, and I am looking forward to New Years, and going back to CA.

5 more days!

2008-12-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

As the trip to GA gets closer, I get more and more excited. I really miss my family and am looking forward to seeing all of them. It's rough, it's been about a year since I've seen my folks and Daniel, and about 9 months since I've seen Kathleen, Adam, and Sophie, and about that same amount of time since I've seen Brandon. So for me the excitement is growing.

However, I know that this has got to be rough for Donna, this is going to be her first Christmas away from her family, and not only that but she is going to have to stay with a lot of people that she doesn't even know, and since she doesn't always like meeting new people this probably adds to her nervousness.
I just hope she'll understand that while she is leaving her family to visit mine, that she in reality is going to still be with family, because she is going to be, in about 6 months, a Glaize, and they are looking forward to loving her, if for no other reason than because I love her.

Now on a lighter note, my Mom gave me a list of meals that she is going to be making for us while we are there, and let me tell you, just the thought of them makes me drool a little bit, we're gonna have, roast beef, Lasagna, homemade Chicken Pot Pie, Steak, and so much more, and I for one am excited about that.

This is going to be a great Christmas, the last Christmas that I will be a non married man. That's an interesting and exciting thought!

That good man Joseph

2008-12-04T12:04:00.000-08:00

I must say I am really beginning to feel for Joseph, the husband of Mary, especially now that I am madly in love with and betrothed to be married to Donna. Joseph was betrothed to Mary, and was getting ready to marry his beautiful bride when all of the sudden it turns out that she is pregnant. I cannot imagine the hurt that he must had initially felt, if all of the sudden Donna came to me and told me "I'm pregnant, but don't worry it's from the Holy Spirit." I would feel betrayed, and really angry that she would then try to blame God for what happened. Yet Joseph loved Mary, and God, enough that while he felt hurt, betrayed, and most likely angry, instead of having her be stoned to death, he decided to just put her away in secret, not wanting to expose Mary's shame.
That's love, and and I'm sure that's part of the reason that God chose Mary, because He knew what kind of man Joseph was. He loved Mary in the way that God intends all us men to love our lives.

I will say though It's good that God appeared to him in a dream and let him know that this pregnancy thing was legit.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

2008-12-01T11:23:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas! I love the whole season. The Christmas carols, everything being decorated with trees, lights and even the Santa Clauses, heck I even love the Christmas movies and television programs.

I especially love the fact that I am going to be able to see my family again this Christmas, after about a year of not seeing them, I am finally going to see my family, and Donna is finally going to get a chance to meet them. That is going to be awesome.

On an unrelated note I must say that almost immediately after posting that last blog, God and I have been doing a lot better. I've found myself lately just looking forward to reading God's word, and not wanting to stop once I start. It is quite nice. I love it.

Intimancy

2008-11-21T14:43:00.000-08:00

It's what everyone longs for. We all at some point desire to be in an intimate relationship with someone. I have in many ways found that in Donna, and I am extremely happy with that. But as of late, I have come to realize that I really desire to have an intimate relationship with God.
See the more I fall in love with Donna, the more I realize just how much God loves me, yet at the same time I for the most part lack that relationship. I want Him to be my desire more than anything else, I want Him to be my passion, my love and my life completely, not just a part. But it's not there, there is a lack, and I'm finding that the more knowledge that I receive about Him only causes me to want to know Him on a personal level even more, but I don't know how.

I know that there is soo much more, I know that there is an intimacy with God that He desires me to have. But the fact is I don't have it, and I just don't know how to get to that point. I love God, the forgiveness and grace of Jesus is something that I cherish, but I want more. I don't want God to be there just so I can pray to Him when I am in need, I want intimacy, but I don't know where to go or how to get it. I see the examples in the Bible of men like Peter, or Paul, and examples just though people in my life, and I see that on some level they have a certain depth to their relationship that I lack.

Father I want more of you, and I don't care what you must do to me or in me, if it is going to cause me to know you more, then I am more than willing.

My Birthday!

2008-11-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

So I know it's already been almost a week since my birthday, and so this is a little late getting out, but I decided to write about my birthday and then see where it goes from there. OK so here we go!!!

At 8:45, I was awakened to the sound of my phone ringing, I was tired from hanging out with my friends, after Trunk-Or-Treat, way late into the night. So when my phone rang I was in a bit of a daze. Upon answering my phone I was greeted with my family singing Happy Birthday in a pitch that while not really on key, was still pleasant because I loved them all and it was the same off key'dness that I've heard every year since I was little.

I then proceeded to talk with them for about a half hour. After that Donna came into my room, and I opened all the gifts that my family sent me this year. It was awesome. She then told me to get dressed ( I was in my pajamas) so that we could go. So after getting ready, Donna blindfolded me and off we went.

The first place she took me was to Boomers it's a place that has mini-golf, go-carts and various other games and stuff. After OWNING Donna at mini-golf, we went on the go-carts, where I raced this one kid who was really being a punk, so at one point I slammed his back wheel causing him to turn and slam into the wall making him stuck, and thus Aaron Glaize restored order to that go-cart track.

After boomers I was blindfolded again, and was then taken out to eat lunch at Panda Express!!! OH yeah you Orange Chicken and Bejing Beef, you cannot get better than that.

After eating we went out to the Aerospace museum, and had some educational moments. It was really cool to be able to learn all about the various aircrafts used during WWII, I really liked it.

After perusing the museum, we had some time to kill before the next event, and so Donna took me to Seaport Village. We spent time just looking at shops, and just laying on the grass and talking. It was nice and relaxing, and I loved it.

Soon after I was blindfolded again and taken to La Jolla beach were Donna had her family set up a candle lit picnic for us. They didn't stay however, I guess Donna assumed it would be less romantic that way, so Donna and I ate my favorite meal, Lasagna, and just sat on the beach, watched the sun set and talked about our future together. It was really an awesomely special time.

Finally Donna took me to the Cheesecake factory, where here family was waiting for us. We went in and had some FANTASTIC cheesecake. Well... at least I did, everyone else had other types of dessert.

When I finally got home at around 9 that night, I went into my room and found a gift from Donna's folks. They bought me an audio system for my iPod that was remote controlled. That was pretty awesome.

OK well that was my birthday, it really was one of the best birthdays that I have had in a long time, so thank you very much Donna. I love you.

Ok well that's all I want to talk about right now, maybe tomorrow I will write on a more current event.

Work happens...

2008-10-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

So work sucks... but that's ok. Because the Lord is still doing stuff with and in me.

I passed!!!

2008-10-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

After a week of being nervous, and having to endure such boring classes, I took the test to get my Health Insurance licence. That's right I'm awesome. The test was difficult, but that didn't stop this dude.

Thanks to all of you who prayed for me, I must say that that is more than anything else is what caused me to pass my test. So thanks to all of you, God really does answer prayer.

Work starts tomorrow.

Tomorrows test

2008-10-21T17:13:00.001-07:00

So tomorrow is the big day, I have my test coming and it is the big one. If I don't pass it I wont be able to work, and that is really what scares me the most. However, I know that God is loving enough to help me pass the test if He wants me to, and so in that I have peace. I'm gonna study my hind quarters off today, but then that's all I can do at the end of the day.

Anyway so I went to the DMV today, and waited there for what seemed like a million hours in order to get my California Drivers licence and I found out that I had to take the test in order to get it... so I failed that. Which was kind of funny, especially since I still have my Ga. Licence I'm probably the only guy in there who failed the test and still drove home (legally).

Anyway Pray for me for tomorrow, I def. need it a lot. I'll be excited to get this over and done with, and actually get to start working. That will be nice.

It's comin'

2008-09-21T23:08:00.000-07:00

With the one year coming up I decided to say that I am excited. I have never been in a relationship with a gal for anywhere near this length, which is exciting. That's exciting, with the one year coming up one thing that I've realized is that I am gonna need to step up my game. I'm not as good as I was at planning these elaborate romantic things as I used to be. I think it's all this TV that I'm watching, it's a known mathematic equation, that TV+time=brainlessness. Im pretty sure I saw something on 20/20 or something about that, besides you know that that's true because it is in a math problem. Anyway so I've pretty much planned what we are going to do for our anniversary, and have tried to be as romantic as possible... so we'll see how that goes. I guess if Donna not only tells you about it, but also then blogs about my romantic fortitude (did I use that word right? gosh I used to know, I blame that loss of memory on that one episode of scrubs where JD does stuff...) then we'll know that I did a good job.

On a side note, the other day upon coming back from the facilities, Donna pretended to fall asleep at the kitchen table. So I snuck up behind here and scared her. She knew I was coming, but when I roared or whatever sound I made, she jumped and bruised her knee. It was her fault, so if she tries to trick you into believing that I somehow purposely bruised her leg, do not believe it. She's a sneaky trickster...

Anyway all this to say that this Sunday, Donna and I will have been together for a year. And what a grand year it has been!!!

Employment

2008-09-17T12:39:00.000-07:00

I hate not working, or having a job. To be able to provide for my wife. The problem is I lack experience, and so that makes things a lot harder. Unemployment I think is a lot harder for men, because there is something ingrained in us that causes us to want to provide for us. So if you know of anything good, let me know, and I guess what I'm saying is that I need you all to pray for me to find something.

Fun stuff

2008-08-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

So lately I've been thinking about my childhood, and let me tell you I, for the most part, had a pretty good life. I remember playing with toys, playing the Avengers game on the trampoline, or even playing Donkey Kong Country 3, at night in the basement when the storms came and there were Tornado warnings. It's time like those that I look back on with fondness, and it causes me to miss my family. I especially right now miss my brothers. They are not just my brothers though, they are also my friends, so often I see siblings who hate each other, but that's not us, sure we may fight, but at the end of the day those two are probably some of my closest friends. I also miss my parents, and my sister and brother in law, and my Niece, I do wish I could be with them, and I hate that I cant be around them, and the thought makes me sad.

But then I think of the adventure that is ahead of me, the joys of getting married to my smart, beautiful and best of all God loving, Donna (she's got the full package), and how I am also getting involved with an amazing ministry here at Pathways being able to help with Overflow is just amazing, and something that I am excited to see what the Lord is going do with and through me in that ministry, and it makes me realize that while I miss my Family, He wants me here and so in that I'm content.

I know that God wants me here (for now) and who knows where He is going to send me in the next 5 years. So while I do love and miss my family, I realize that since God has me here, I am going to be more blessed doing what it is He wants me to do.

Growing up... slowly.

2008-08-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

WIth less than 11 months till I am married to the beautiful Donna, I am beginning to get hit with a realization. I'm an adult. Now granted this is not something that surprised me, or even something that I didn't know before, but it just seems lately that the more I realize I need to do to be that husband, leader, and man that I am going to need to be, the more I realize that I am falling so short of this, this is for real, and I need to stop living like a kid who will have everything taken care of by another.

The more I get to know Donna, the more I realize that she is so much more ready to be that amazing wife, and wonderful mother (that part wont happen for years hopefully) than I am to be that great husband and loving father. I feel like I am missing something that I should inheritantly know like I somehow missed out on some major growing up event. Maybe it was the way I was raised, or maybe it's the fact that I tend to avoid difficult situations instead of confronting them head on, either way though I am at a point where I don't know what to do next or in those situations that I do know what to do, I don't know how.

I think for me the big issue is that while I know that this is something that everyone experiences, I at the same time am afraid that I am going to step out, try to be that amazing husband/provider for Donna and fail. Fail at being able to provide for her, fail at being able to lead her on the way of righteousness, fail to give her the security that she longs for.

Oh Lord, I am coming more and more to the conclusion that I am lacking in everything I need to be that husband, that leader, that MAN, that you are calling me to be. God I cannot guarentee her anything, so I am going to have to trust that you are going to provide for us as we are seeking to do what it is that you are calling us to. Help me to love Donna as you love your bride, the Church, and help me to grow up...

Unemployed

2008-08-02T17:23:00.000-07:00

That's right, though this is not new news to most people I am no longer working at friendly grounds. Does this make me sad? No, it's a blessing, that just made me realize that the work that the Lord had for me there has apparently been complete. So I'm now anxiously awaiting what the Lord has for me next.

With that being said, I need a job. Not just a "college/high school" job either, something where I can "bring home the bacon," so to speak, so if you know of anything let me know. Until then I'll be filling out applications and praying for guidance and doing stuff.

Bros before um... schmoes?

2008-07-31T19:59:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been hanging out with the guys a lot more, whether it is going out to Burger King with Brock, Starbucks with Nick, or to Panda Express with Luke, I have been spending a lot more time with the men of the college group, and I must say that it's been good. Never before have I felt like I had a group of brothers who I could open up to, it has been pretty sweet.

Anyway on an unrelated note, Donna and I have been cleaning her room and miracle of miracles happened, it is almost completely cleaned! That is pretty sweet if you ask me. It's nice to be able to see the floor, and not have to worry about tripping and falling to my death if I ever need to get something out of her room, so that's nice.

That's really the big stuff going on with me, since only like Donna reads this anyway I want to say hey babe, I love you! If anyone else reads this too um... hi, and um... leave a comment.

God is Good

2008-07-13T16:41:00.000-07:00

Well it's been about two weeks since my last post so I decided that I should post again. As I sit here on the couch, with Donna napping at my side, I am just reflecting on the goodness of God. There are many things that are up in the air, finding a new job, figuring out how to help plan for our wedding, what I should do about health Insurance, what I'll be doing once Donna is gone at Bible College, and so many other unknowns. Yet though I don't really know what I am doing, or what's going to be going on in these next 11 months, one thing I do know. God is Good, and because of this I'm content.

God is the one teaching me to lead, He's the one showing me how to love, and even where it is I should be going. I love that while I am in myself an incapable individual, I am still strong in my weakness because it is at the weak points that I am relying on God a lot more. Lord continue to conform me to your image, I am constantly in need of that.

Anyway that's all, just a little praising of my Savior.

5 years ago

2008-06-27T18:34:00.000-07:00

You know my life has changed significantly in the past 5 years. I was just thinking the other day about how much my life has changed since High School. All the good, and bad, times that have taken place and all the events that have transpired for the Lord to have placed me right here, right now.
Lets see in a list version I've
Been a youth pastor
Moved to Germany
Went to bible college in both Germany and England
Had my wisdom teeth removed
Graduated from Bible College
Met and got engaged to Donna
Moved back to Georgia and then to California

These are just a summary of the main events that have happened. It makes me wonder what the Lord has in store for me in the next five years, it leaves me both excited and curious. I love Jesus!

Recent Ponderings 1

2008-06-25T23:54:00.000-07:00

(Editor's note: Has not been edited)

It's been a while since my last blog. But I think that's ok, it gave time for everyone and anyone to be sure to have read the last one before I prepared this one.

A lot has happened since that blog was posted, I moved to California, I got a car and a job. This blog isn't about any of those things though I probably have enough material for each to write an entire blog about it, and who knows maybe I will when I don't have anything else to do. But today is a special blog, one that is really about something that I have been thinking about for a little while.
As you may know the comedian George Carlin died the other day, now other than watching him on "Shining Times Station" where he played Mr. Conductor on the Thomas the Train TV show on PBS that I used to watch (in my defense PBS was the only channel we were allowed to watch for the most part) I didn't really know much about him. But it turns out, from reading various articles about him, that he was quite a rebellious crass man, who liked to make fun of, among other things, God.
Now I don't know where he was spiritually when he died, but assuming that he had not repented, this man who had made a career out of being rebellious is now paying for that choice for all eternity, separated from the God that he chose to mock instead of worship.
When I think of this or the many other men I see on TV or in books who blaspheme the Lord either for laughs, or just because they in their "brilliance" believe that an existence without God more suitable, I begin to feel three emotions at the same time. The first one that arises is anger, anger at the fact that they are mocking my Savior, and also because there are people who are going to believe what is written and they too are going to turn away from their only source of Life.
I then feel pity. I think to myself that these people are arrogantly marching themselves right into Hell. The feeling of pity quickly changes into sorrow. The fact that men like Voltaire, Lenin or George Carlin are now spending eternity apart from any hope, joy, friendship or love, makes me sad. Because no matter how much I may not like someone, or what someone stands for, I would not wish hell on anyone.
Yet there are many guys and gals, whether they be professors or friends, that I know who follow this same mindset, and I don't wind up in Hell like those before them.

Now this brings me to what I have been thinking about. 2 Timothy 2:23-26 says:

"Avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will."

The point I have been thinking about is two fold (Not three interestingly enough) and they both come from this passage.
The first one deals with avoiding arguments and quarrels. I find that when it comes to talking with those "intellectual" the first thing that they begin to do is argue, but we are not called to do that we are called to patiently teach in humility. This is something that I am bad at, because I am a debater, I like to debate biblical ideas but at the same time I know the old adage "you may win the debate, but lose their soul to Hell." And that makes me think of all the times that I have debated with someone about Christianity to the point where we both left angry, and I think over my answers for days, if not weeks, later (ask Donna, I'm constantly bringing up new arguments for my point of view in a debate I had with some person weeks beforehand).
But I've come to realize that my job is not to win arguments, it's to win souls. Which brings me to the next part of my thinking

"If God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth and that they may come to their senses..."
It's not really my job to win souls either. That's God's job, but yet how often do I assume that it's too late for those who are alive?
I watched a film a few months back called "Expelled" and I remember as I watched the film and how some of the men were talking about how, since they learned of evolution, they didn't need God anymore, and I remember a part of me thinking that they were hopeless, like they had no chance for Salvation. I also think of all these people who are in cults, or are just sooo lost, and I honestly don't see them ever getting saved. While I would not have admitted it I, in some ways, figured that they were lost causes. But I guess many could say the same about Paul, or C.S. Lewis, or many other men of God who initially weren't.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to God, (which then raises questions about sovereignty vs. Free will but I'll maybe talk about that in another special edition blog.)
Ok this was a bit long, and I honestly didn't intend to type this much or stay up this late, but I will say for now, I am going to be making a list of all those people who I've thought were too far gone, and I'm not going to give up on them, I am going to start praying for them and if possible talking to them, who knows "perhaps God will grant them repentance... that they may come to their senses."

An Engagement (The Aaron and Donna Story)

2008-03-23T21:58:00.000-07:00

It all started on a cold rainy night in England, where I asked Donna Blaisdell to be my girlfriend. From that point on the Lord began to knit our hearts more and more together. (We'll one day tell the entire story, but as for now we are just going to tell the engagement portion of this grand tale.) About a month and a half later I told her that it was my intention to eventually marry her.
Flashing forward to the end of that semester, I gave her my ring as a "statement of intention" and it was at that point that we both knew that we were going to one day marry each other, and that is where this story picks up. Starting with the amazing Aaron's portion, followed by the mega beauty/super foxy Donna's.

Aaron's Portion

On December 15th, my love left England, taking with her both my ring and my heart. Thoughts were flowing through my mind, about how excited I was, but at that point I was also nervous. My parents had spent the evening talking with her, and I was afraid that they would for whatever reason not like her. But on the train to the airport, we talked about how she was the one I was planning to marry, and they surprisingly responded with joy. They said that they liked her, and that they could see how much I loved her and so since they trusted my judgment they said that they supported me in this.
I was in Germany through Christmas, and I tried to figure out how and when to find the time to talk to her (there's about a 9 hour difference between California and Germany) but somehow we were able to talk every day, and soon after I moved in with my sister and her husband in Georgia.
It was there that I was faced with the fear that because we could only communicate via skype, we would slowly grow apart. But instead the exact opposite happened. We fell more in love with each other, and I wanted more and more to marry her. So around Valentine's day, I began to search for the perfect ring. The one that I could afford and at the same time would be beautiful, and I found it at Friedman's Jeweler's. So after much prayer, and searching, I bought the ring. But I was now faced with the task of figuring out how I was going to propose to her, and also what it is I would say when it came to asking her Father for her hand.
Now Donna knew that I was planning to propose, but I wanted the when and where to be a surprise, so I told her that I wanted to wait to propose until she came to visit in June, and I also got her mom to help me in this facade. Meanwhile she helped me figure out places to propose.
Finally after being apart for 3 months I finally arrived in Santee, to see my beautiful babe. And with that came the stress that came in the form of her dad. I knew that he knew that I wanted to ask him, but at the same time, I was unsure how it was that he was going to respond, so in my mind I was trying to answer all the questions that he may even possibly ask me, because Donna's hand/his blessing was something that was important to me.
So that Sunday I took him out for coffee, and on the way there we talked small talk, but I was FREAKING OUT on the inside. So we went to starbucks, and he asked me why I had taken him out. So I told him that I was in love with Donna, and that I wanted her hand in marriage. His response surprised me, because instead of an interrogation he just said "Yes. I have spent the last 20 years trying to figure out what I was going to say to the man who asked me this, but I don't feel that I need to to threaten or interrogate you. It's obvious that you love my daughter, and you make her happy, and so I give you my blessing." It was at that point that it felt like a weight was lifted off me, I was at this point free to propose to Donna and I knew when and where I was going to do it.
On Wednesday March 19th 2008, I took Donna out for a "dress date" we dressed up nice and I took her out to Olive Garden. After that we went to Balboa park to walk around. It was Donna's favorite park, filled with nice gardens and various other paths and stuff. When we got there Donna began to explain to me all the amazing things about the area, and why it is that she loved the place, and what everything is. But, to be honest, at this time I didn't really pay attention to anything that she was saying. All I was thinking was, where can I propose to Donna? Where would it be nice? Finally we went to the Organ Pavillion, and it was there that we went on the stage and I decided that that would be the place. So as Donna was about to walk away, I grabbed her hand and said "Wait a second." I then took her other hand and said "Ever since that day in Rome... I mean in the laundry room where we were talking about Rome, I knew that I wanted you to be my bride, and ever since that day I have been trying to think of what I would say when this moment came. But to be honest at this point my mind is going blank. I love you Donna, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I then got on one knee and then said "So I guess what I am trying to say is, Donna Mae Blaisdell will you marry me?" Donna at this point was smiling from ear to ear and she said "Yes!" So I put the ring on her finger, and we kissed for the first time as fiances. We then walked hand and hand together around in the area, smiling and talking about how we are now officially engaged. Donna called her mom and told her, and then after Donna went to the bathroom, we went back to her house and her mom took pictures.

The Real Story from Donna
so starting from when i left england...
i was a mess that day what with dorm cleaning and meeting his family for the first time and the graduation there was a lot going on in my brain. but the thought that my mind was obsessing over was that "i am leaving aaron tonight and trusting that this is what god wants for us and that He will watch over this relationship while we are apart." you always hear about bible college romances and how they last for a season, then are over a few weeks after the semester ends. i didn't want that i loved him and i knew very early on that he was the man i wanted to marry. so before i left while we stood outside in the freezing cold he gave me his ring and told be that it stood for 3 things our purity in this relationship, a reminder of his love for me, and a "statement of intention". early the next morning we said goodbye and amidst tears and hugs and kisses. when we were waiting for the train i told my friend lauren about the ring and she told me she knew it was from god this relationship, because we fit together like puzzle pieces. when i got home i missed him so much and all i wanted to do was talk to him on skype but i had work and school to get back to so we struggled to find time to talk to each other. when he moved to georgia it was easier and we would talk for hours. learning everything about one another. we talked about marriage and what we wanted for our future and i knew when he was looking for rings. i thought i knew he was going to propose when he came out in the spring but between him and my mom they had me convinced that he would wait till that june. so when he came out i knew he was asking my dad for my hand in marriage and that he was incredibly nervous about it. we prayed about it before he went to talk to him and i knew it would go well. when we were at my college group that night he told me and my friends how it went and it was all good news! and as far as i knew that was the only progress in that area that would be going on while he was here. we wanted to go in a fancy date where we dressed up and went out to eat some where nice so we did that wednesday and it was fun. i thought at the beginning of the night that he might propose that evening so when i realized my purity ring was not on my hand i asked him if when we go back i should could pu tit on. he said sure and so in my mind if i would be wearing my ring, then that meant he didn't plan on putting another one on there and therefore no proposal that night. not that i was upset, because i just figured it would happen this summer. so we went home and i grabbed my jacket and ring before heading off to Balboa park my favorite place in all of san diego. it's filled with great museums and gardens and the buildings are so cool. so we were walking around and i was talking the whole time telling aaron about different times i had been to the park, and different places that had stories attached to them for me. when we got to the organ pavilion i was telling him how people get married here all the time and how beautiful it was so we walked down the aisle towards the stage and we got up there and i was still taking about who knows what now when he stopped me as i was about to go off to the next place. that's when i knew. i looked at his face and i saw what he was thinking before he said a word and i knew this was the moment i had been waiting for since i left england. he started talking and all i could think was " he's asking me to marry him. I'm gong to be his fiance after this moment." i only caught the first part of what he said about how when we were in the laundry room talking about rome and how we weren't going to go then he knew i was the one god had for him and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. then he got down on one knee and asked me. it was perfect perfect man perfect time perfect place all before God. we prayed afterwards that God would be the center of our relations ship, and dedicated it once again to Him. then we walked into the light so i could see the ring better; it was gorgeous. after that we walked around some more and i pointed out more buildings, and we talked a lot, not sure if aaron remembers any of what i told him about the park so we will have to go there again sometime but i'm ok with that.

This is our story so far, it's still being written, by God, and it will be the greatest adventure we could ever take part in. We can only imagine how great it will be to serve the Lord together and to carry out His work as a team. He made us for each other and we will complement one another in ways we never could have imagined. It's better to let God be our story teller and to enjoy the moment He has us in now. it is always changing and always something new but still feels like a favorite pair of jeans, comfortable and leaving you feeling confidant in each step you take.

6 Days!

2008-03-07T10:01:00.001-08:00

I am really excited, in 6 days I am going to be going to SoCal to visit Donna. I miss her so much, and so being able to be at the same place that she is, is going to be nice. I am really excited, and I get to go to the Zoo. That is going to be awesome.

No good reason

2008-02-24T20:23:00.000-08:00

Well most of the time I write posts because I have something to say, or because cool stuff is going on in my life. And while Jesus is continuing to work on my heart, and transforming me more and more into His image daily, there really is not too much to report. But I'll just keep writing and see what I'll come up with.

Well last Wednesday I went to a job interview at Geico, and I found out that I had both the aptitude and the personality for sales, and they were saying that I was essentially everything that they wanted in an employee. They were offering me a job that would pay 45-50 thousand a year plus bonuses which I would recieve with every sale. I also would have medical, dental, and car insurance paid for. So I was at first excited.
However then they said that I needed to make at least a 2 year commitment, and they would want me to start a career in it. It was at that time I saw myself working there, getting promotions, eventually making 70,000-90,000 a year and having an office job. It was there it was safe, and it made sense.
But that is not what the Lord would have for me, I know that He has a calling on my life. He has given me this passion for the word, and for full time ministry. This job would mean financial security, I wouldn't have to worry about my job, or money or any of that. In essence I wouldn't have to rely on the Lord, nor would I have to persue His calling for me life.
That all flashed before me, and while the idea sounded nice I turned it down.

Anyway on a lighter note, the countdown is on, it's less than a 3 weeks till I get to see my beautiful, amazing, lovely Donna. For those of you who read this blog who don't already know I am madly in love Donna Mae Blaisdell. She is a blessing.

College group

2008-02-13T18:38:00.001-08:00

Today I decided to check out the college group at Southside Baptist church. It was pretty cool. The leaders there really made a concerted effort to make sure that I was getting plugged in and making sure that the people noticed me which was appreciated. I notice that when it's just me, I tend to be quiet, which isn't exactly the way one goes about making friends, I need a wingman, someone who I know as backup, and so it was interesting going today because I lacked that wingman.

Anyway the lesson today was about relationships (since tommorrow is Valentine's day). The lesson essentially was an acronym, TOADS and it represented what people need in order to have a healthy relationship
Trust
Openness
Affirmation
Dating
Seeking the Lord

It was pretty good I guess, but I really enjoyed being able to hang out with a bunch of believers specifically Christian guys. I've realized that I need bros, and it's good that there are a lot of cool guys there. Hopefully I can find a brother who I can really talk to.

so anyway it was pretty good and I think that I am going to go back, hopefully I can make some good friends there and get plugged into some bible studies.

Today

2008-02-09T14:09:00.000-08:00

So this blog wont be too long, but there are 3 things that happened today.
1. I finally got a job, I'm not working at Logan's Steakhouse. The manager seems to be pretty nice, and I get to finally be making money so that's cool.
2. I did it as you can see in the picture I shaved my gotee, not necessarily because I wanted to, but it was one of those things that I kept saying that I would do but never wanted to, but because Donna wanted to see what I looked like without it, and because Adam shaved his off too, I deciede to. I hate it though so Donna had better not like it.
3. Um... I was going to send my valentine's package for Donna today but the post office was closed so that stinks.

Yeah I look fat I hate being clean shaven... so it wont happen again so enjoy it while it lasts.

Grace pt. 1

2008-02-05T14:45:00.000-08:00

I've grown up in a christian home, and in fact I have known the definitions to such words as predestination, atonement, and even transsubstantiation, since I was a kid. I grew up living a life that said "I'm a Christian and here's why..." the problem is that while I knew a of a lot of things about the Word, there was a key principle, a key idea that I was never taught. That was the idea of grace. Sure I may have been able to define what grace was "God's unmerited favor" but the reality is the definition without a full understanding is lacking power.
I was talking with Donna last night about the whole job thing, and the thing is I kept coming back to the idea that I needed to do something, I needed to be better, I needed to search harder etc. But as we were talking it hit me, so much of how I see my life, and my relationship with Christ is based on how I live for Him. That's how I was trained all my life to view that relationship.
However something began to really strike me in bible college, and that was the idea that it's not about what I do for Him, it's about who I am in Him.
That more than anything has been something that I have been struggling with. It's grace, and the stuff I learned about it shows just my vast lack of understanding of what it truly means to live under grace. It's not the way that I have been taught to live, and it's not the way that I have necessarily been living, but it is the core to my relationship with God. Grace shouts "you do not deserve anything that I have been giving you, so stop trying."
Anyway so I have started to read the book "Why Grace Changes Everything" by Chuck Smith, and to be quite honest as I have just read the first two chapters so far I have felt so... freed. I don't know any other way to express it.
So far there has not really been anything that I have not intellectually known, but it is stuff that my heart has had trouble accepting and believing. But this time as I consider these things, I pray through them. I stop consider what I read and the type of ramifications this stuff will have on my life if I truly believe them, and I have been blown away. Here are the three main things that the Lord has spoken to me through this book so far:

1. Nothing I do, good or bad, can change my standing before God.
2.I am no more righteous than anyone else, nor is anyone more righteous than I am. It's not based on me at all, it's all based on Christ.
3. Anything and everything that is good in us, even things that we may not consider (such as a hard working spirit, a good memory, or the ability to overcome) are all gifts from God and not things we have to muster ourselves.

All of these things are all based on grace, and it when we are in Christ, that we can gain these.

Anyway I'll keep posting on the stuff I have been learning about grace. This has been such a blessing so far, and I am excited to hear what the Lord is going to show me as I continue studying.

So it's Monday

2008-02-04T16:15:00.000-08:00

Well I determined today to write a blog about something. But I am trying to think of a good topic to talk about here on my blog, but as or right now I am not exactly sure what to put so I am just writing hoping that something comes to me.
So as of right now nothing is coming to me. I've noticed something though, just how much tv and stuff that the people watch, yet at the same time I've noticed how stupider and stupider television is becoming. So I don't think I am going to have cable or anything when I get my own place, if I really want to watch something I'll watch it on iTunes.

Donna knits

2008-02-02T11:07:00.001-08:00

that's right she is a nifty knitter.

My Bride list

2008-01-31T21:10:00.000-08:00

I sent this list the other day to Donna. But I think that all of these are probably all things that a man of God should look for in his bride. Now granted there might be other stuff and an individual would add, but I think for me this about covers it. This list is broad so I didn't necessarily list everything specifically (ex. I didn't say what I find attractive) but still, I think it's pretty good.

1. Most important is that she has to be not just a Christian but also seeking to be walking with the Lord.
The reality is there are a lot of people who are content with where they are in Jesus. But not her, she seeks the grow, not that she is perfect, no. if she were I wouldn't be able to marry, or even date her because I am far from perfect. It is not about the mistakes that she has made or is making, it is about her seeking God out even in those mistakes.

2. I must find her attractive.
This of course is both a physical and a personality thing. If I don't find them attractive then of course I could not stay with them long.

3. She can't have a calling that conflicts with mine.
We are all called of the Lord to do great things, and whether that thing is to go plant a church in Florida, go be a missionary in China, or just be a witness at your work. Now I feel called to be a pastor, but if the and so my brides calling cannot be something that conflicts with mine because that in turn would create a conflict, and that is not desirable.

4. She needs to be willing to submit to me.
This of course is probably out of all of these, the hardest one for the women to accept. However I need a bride who is going to submit. That is the biblical principle, and just as I am called to love her like Christ loves the church, so she is called to submit to my authority. Now this does not mean that she is to be a slave, no. Far from it, it is more like we are a team, and I am the team captain, and since we are a team it is my responsibility to do what I think is best for it, and it is the brides job to submit to that. It is hard I understand that, and I will do whatever I can to be the kind of leader that my bride will both love and respect, but still this is something that is a requirement of mine, mostly because that is requirement of God.

5. She needs to call me out when I am in sin.
Now submission does not mean that if I am sinning, that she is supposed to stay silent. There are going to be times where I am going to not be loving, where I am going to not be that model for Christ, and while I would want her to do it lovingly, and also only after it being a repeated offense where I aparently am blind to the sin. It is in those times where I would want her to take me to the side and lovingly call me out.

6. She needs to find me funny.
I like making people laugh, and so if the girl found me completely boring, I don't know if I could handle that.

7. She needs to be able to get me, to be willing to have all those silly conversations.
I can picture it now, the middle of the night, with us both laying in bed, I say to my bride, "If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?" and we then discuss. I want a woman who I can be silly with, and she will be silly back. Yet at the same time she can also be serious too when the occasion arises. (It should be noted though that silly and stupid are two different things, and so if I were to do something stupid, like ride down the stairs head first backwards, I wouldn't expect her to cheer me on, instead I think in those situations it would be better for her to try to discourage that.)

8. She needs to know that as my bride her first calling is to me.
This kind of goes along with #3. My bride needs to remember that though others are important, her first calling is to be a helpmate to me. That biblically should be more important than any ministry she may have, including children. Now that is not to say that I am going to be inept and in need of her 24/7, but so often relationships become strained because they lose forget the importance of their spousalhood. This goes for me too of course, my first calling would be to my wife.

9. She needs to let me be romantic and chivalrous.
Now I can at times be both romantic and chivalrous. But we live in a new age, where women don't want that kind of stuff anymore. However because I can't help but be those at times, I need a woman who still wants that.

10. I need to be in love with her.
Now this of course goes without saying. However a woman could fulfill all of these other requirements, but if I don't love them, then I of course would not marry them.

Jobs

2008-01-31T20:56:00.000-08:00

I'm getting frustrated. I'm tired of filling out out millions of applications only to find out that I am either not qualified or the business is not hiring. It's frustrating to say the very least. The thing is I don't know what to do. I know on one hand the reality is at this point there really isn't anything I can do other than put in more applications, and the other hand is the reality that the Lord is the one who will choose my future job. Whether that is being a server or a youth director, it all depends on what the Lord would want me to do, because the reality is while those things may be my job, my life is to glorify God, and so that is what I want to do. God is the one who initiates the employment.
The question for me though is how much am I supposed to do? On one hand the bible is constantly saying that we are to wait on the Lord, and I know this. But on the other hand I know that I am not supposed to sit around and do nothing either. So the question is when am I supposed to stop and just wait on the Lord? The hard thing is just waiting, because I feel like a slacker, but I just don't know... I guess it really all comes down to what the Lord is calling me to do, does He want me to continue to go and find a job or does He want me to just patiently wait on the Lord? I just don't know, and for that reason I'm frustrated. But that's ok.

Seinfeld, jobs, love and a baby.

2008-01-29T14:30:00.000-08:00

So lately I have been realizing something about myself. Things that I once may have enjoyed, just do not have the joy that they used to, for example, I used to really love the show Seinfeld, yet jokes about sex or against the Lord, which have been showing up more and more on the television, have really as of late been a turn off for me. Bad language itself has kind of been the same, no longer can I enjoy a film where every other word is an F-bomb. This is weird, but also exciting, because it is showing me that the Lord really is at work. That He continually fulfilling Philippians 1:6 in my life. He not only began a good work in me, but He will continue to do so until the day of Christ Jesus, and He is. That exciting, because these are changes that I didn't even really notice taking place, yet they did, and that is cool.
I have been looking for a job lately, but no one seems to be hiring, this stinks because I want/need money. But I will hopfully get something soon. Friday I have a job interview and we'll see how that goes. Hopefully well.
I have lately comes to the realization that I am madly in love with Donna. As she pour her heart out to me last night, I became aware of the fact that though I loved her, that as we talked there was a depth of love for her that I was reaching which I could hardly conprehend, yet alone describe. I know that this all comes from the Lord, I don't think the world's love has the capacity to reach such a depth because it cannot love with the agape love. The reality is though that I cannot love her with that kind of love either, I must rely on the Lord to continue to teach me how because I wont be able to love her like He loves the church with Him. So I need to seek Him out because as I do so, I will in turn become that love.
Finally, Sophia is the cutest baby in the world, and she makes me realize why people want to have children. It's weird how a niece can do that to you, I've had a bunch of opportunities to watch her, or to go and feed her or to just carry her in my arms until she stops crying, and let me tell you, when the childen are blood, when they are family, they become all the more amazing. It's not that I hated kids, but it was more that I was impatient with them, but the baby is def. making that impatience go away. Anyway all this to say that while I wanted them before, I am sure that I want children now.

So that was fun and long, I don't usually know what to put in blogs so I just threw all that out there hope it makes sense.

First blogs are always the hardest

2008-01-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

Well today I decided to create a blog. Mostly because I will have a place to basically just talk about whatever it is I want to talk about, whether it is what is going on in my life or what is going on in my walk, or whatever. I'll actually write on this thing later today, but for right now this is all you are gonna get.